Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Major fucking pissed

Reconnected with a friend of mine I ain't heard from in about three years. Really good to hear her voice after a long spell of time.

She's went through some hard times. Got dicked over by her now asshole of an ex-husband, leaving her up shit creek with two youngsters in two. As I talked to her, I had mental images of me going to town on the motherfucking, shitstain, dickless, worthless excuse for a human with a police baton till he was beaten retarded and not able to fuck over anyone else. Can't say how sick to my stomach it makes me to see a good, decent person who just wants a good life with a person get stabbed in the back by someone that supposedly loves them. It makes me wish that I had a big red "S" on my chest, could fly, had super strength.....You know what I'm getting at, infinite power to help folks who need it. But I ain't got that.

So pissed off? Yeah I'm that. After I got off the phone with her steam was coming out my ears. Had to do something to work off the angry energy I had going on. My remedy when I need to blow off steam? Polish my boots.

It's kind of like in the books when Sherlock Holmes would play the fiddle. Clear his head, do some hardcore thinking. That's what it's like for me. When I need to think about something, get my mind off something, blow off some steam, the black Kiwi polish, buffer sponge, and brush get pulled out. Tonight I whipped off the motorcycle boots, pulled out the kit, and started to polish. My mind goes into a different place as I apply the polish evenly across the leather, rub it in as good as I can, and go to town with the brush. You can tell how intense I'm thinking by the end result. Tonight I could see myself in the tops of the boots. Fucking mirrors.

On the upside, I started to brainstorm some ideas to lend her a hand, couple may actually work (totally legal I assure you). I feel like I can't not help her. I may be an asshole most of the time, but I'm not a fucking asshole.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Plunging further into the depths of geekdom

Posting these images means I'll never EVER get laid again.

I finally broke down and started getting into the now canned sci-fi/western show "Firefly". Really wondering why it took me so long to get into it seeing as how I was a big fan of "Buffy" the other show created by Joss Whedon. Rented a disc of some episodes over the Thanksgiving break, and between what I had caught on reruns? Yeah totally friggin' hooked.

I decided that I wanted to pick up the only season of shows on DVD, so I hit the local "entertainment superstore" to grab up the set. After securing a copy I looked around the rest of the store, and lo and behold what do I find..........

But a die cast metal replica of the Enterprise! Whooohooo!! I've been wanting one of those damn things for the LONGEST time! So what do I do? The only thing that I can do, I picked up both.

Walking through the store I had the urge to start screaming, "NO, I DON'T LIVE IN MY PARENTS BASEMENT AND I HAVE AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE!!" I opted not to do that. I do have some self control.

Quite a sight to see, this evening in my living room. "Firefly kicking on the TV while I'm playing with a Star Trek ship. Usually I can keep my normal level of geekness in check, but tonight it was like a sci-fi convention of one in my living room.

Times like that? Kinda glad I live alone.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Remembering Robert Altman

Do me a favor folks, over this Thanksgiving break check out one of these flicks; MASH, The Player, Gosford Park, Popeye, Prarie Home Companion, Nashville, Dr, T And The Women, Short Cuts, or McCabe & Mrs. Miller and dig on one of the greats of American Cinema and KC native that we have lost Mr. Robert Altman.

I have had so much admiration for the man over the years. Making the leap from live theatre to directing for TV to making the jump to the big screen with a maverick style that set a lot of the Hollywood folks on their ears.

What really impressed me about Altman was that he was still going strong into his later years. When most people are content to chill and collect a Social Security check he was still going strong making some damn fine films that big names would lie, steal and kill to be in. I could think of no greater honor for a major actor than to say, "I was in an Altman film!"

The best story about Altman I have heard was when he was making MASH. Fox was making Patton and Tora, Tora Tora! at the same time as MASH on the Fox lot. He wanted to make the film his way, so he told everyone to keep his stuff on the down low. Elliot Gould and Donald Southerland, the two leads, wanted him canned for his directing style, and he had little to no budget to deal with.

MASH went on to be a huge success, spawning a sit-com that Allan Alda fucked up, and made Altman a major player.

What I really dug about his style was trying to take real life, and put it up on the screen. Look at the overlapping dialouge in MASH to see what I'm talking about. To me, no one has pulled of decent reality on the screen since Bob Clark with Christmas Story and Porky's

Robert Atman, you will be missed.

(cue the MASH theme here)

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Have to share this real quick......

Finished filling out graduation invitations. In one of them I put a special message to a friend......Here's what it said, more or less..........

"Thanks for being a good friend over the years, and letting me finger bang a girl on your couch that one night."

To who is getting this, you know who you are............

Now to to the story.

I found out where I'm being re-located to for the post-graduation job. A friend of mine used to live there, and she offered to show me around the sleepy little town.

Wow, what a jacked-up little town.

This place has, I kid you not, a combination drug/liquor/gun store!

At first, I was annoyed that the local Walgreens wasn't 24 hours, but this place evens things out! According to my friend, this place is a local hotspot (why am I not suprised)!

You can go in this place, fill your perscription of Percoset, pick up a case of cheap beer, and buy a friggin AK-47 and a machete!

Sometimes, you gotta love Missouri.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Time for a survey!!

Think we've done this one before, but it's been awhile.

The Misfits

This is where you belong in the annals of punk history!

You're pretty cool but sometimes the problem is, is that you know it. 9 times out of ten, you are the life of any party you go to, just be careful not to put your logo on everything you can. What you lack in substance, you more than make up for with style and flare. You are definately one of a kind, but don't let it go to your head... oh yeah, I probably wouldn't want to mess with you or tell you this to your face.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on wild apathy
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on pissed off
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on comically evil
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on socially aware

Link: The What classic punk band are you Test written by DrLebowski on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Monday, November 13, 2006

Some random stuff and finding a job!

Last weekend I talked to the boys about my birthday back in August and them filling me in on details that I don't remember from a combination of beer/Jager/whiskey/getting punched in the balls. Ain't it funny how you can communicate without using words? Apparently slamming your hand very quickly means, "Let me out of the back seat of the car , I have to vomit up beer/Jager/whiskey. If I become a mute I am so set!

And I was thinking of my buddy's wedding this coming spring! The reception's gonna be held at one of the KC casinos and I'm in the wedding party. I get a mental image of me in a tux strutting around like a pimp with a date on my arm in a casino..........................

Being a total fucking pig at the buffet, screaming at and kicking slot machines, and vomiting the now famous beer/Jager/whiskey combo to the disgust of my date (who am I kidding? The escort I paid for). The mental image I have is a bizarre hybrid of Dean Martin and Lemmy from Motorhead. Yeah, you ladies looooooove that.

So, here's another topic. With a month left to go before I graduate from college, I have secured post-college employment, but with the curse of all college graduates.

A job that is not in my major whatsoever that will pay better than ANY job that I would find in my major.

Man, don't give me that look. I know what I'm doing.

The last couple of people that graduated with a degree like mine? It took them about three to six months to find a job in the career field. As much as the idea of being a slacker sounds cool as hell, I'm not spending a few months crashing in my dad's basement while I forage for a job.

(though he DOES have a pool table and a foosball table in the basement)

And this job is pretty effing good! No corporate ownership where I'm a dumb cog in a machine, and the bosses seem to care about the employees. Quite simply, a fair wage for good work, kinda like John Wayne in the movie "McClintock".

Though the job sounds pretty good, don't sweat it, I'll still look for a job that goes along with the degree.

(doubt I'll find anything that pays as good though).

Monday, November 06, 2006

Damn it, it's real now!!!

Guess which one I am? Go ahead, make a bald joke I dare ya!

Today was a big friggin day. Drop by the registrars office and hot damn, the final paperwork for graduation went through! No fuss, no muss, no office person having to dig through dusty tomes for bullshit. It's all there!

I picked up the card I gotta take to the ceremony, and the card to pick up the cap and gown. Booked outta the registrars and down to the bookstore.

I hit the bookstore, handed the lady behind the counter the card, and was handed my cap, gown, and tassel. Wow.

I have to admit that when I had that stuff in hand, I started to get a little misty eyed. I threw on my sunglasses (can't see a tough guy crying) and walked to work holding that stuff. While walking, I started thinking about the long road that I've been on to get to this point. Things that I have accomplished, things that I have sacrificed. Times where I had all kinds of self doubt about what I was doing with myself down here, that I must have been half-crazed to uproot myself from my life, relocate to a sleepy college town to finish something that I knew I had to do.

I remembered the reason that I came back to school. I hate to leave something unfinished. I had hit a point in my life where the little voice in the back of my head telling me to go back to school had become a scream that I couldn't ignore. Take the risk, put my life on hold for a couple of years, get this college thing done once and for all. Use the degree or not, it has to be done, period.

I walked into work with all this going through my head, beaming with pride at what I have done, knowing that a little more than a month from now I walk across a stage and receive my degree. Just for the hell of it, I put on the cap and looked in the mirror........

GOOD GOD!!!!! I forgot just how STUPID graduation caps look! Can't I just safety pin the tassel to my black Kangol and go with that? Last order of business, look like a tool to get outta school! Nothing big.

Ah screw it, I'm gonna graduate!!!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Are you ready?

It's here damnit, it's here!!!

So Halloween 2006 is one for the record books.

You ready for the annual onslaught that is Christmas?

For once I wasn't really seeing any early as hell Christmas stuff this year! I'm amazed! or maybe I wasn't looking hard enough.

Only thing I saw was a Wal Mart ad this morning while watching the news. I assume that once I get home from classes/work tonight and flip on the tube it'll be all sorts of Santa trying to cram shit down my throat.

"IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR KID A PS3 FOR CHRISTMAS THEY'LL HATE YOU FOREVER!!!" Get ready for that hitting you like a machine gun folks.

I do have to say the earliest Christmas crap in a store I saw was a few years ago in Dallas for a work trip. During some downtime between meetings and the crapper cause Dallas water was fucking me up I hit the hotel gift store to look for a couple gifts to take back. I walk in and it was like I stepped into a time machine that took me a couple of years into the future. It was decked out so's you'd think it was the end of November.

Only it was the first week of September.

I looked around for about 30 seconds and that was all I could take cause the pine smell was giving me a headache. I have never come across anything like that again, lucky me.

But now it's time to bundle up and figure out Christmas gifts for family members that you secretly can't stand. Anyone out there who was in denial about the time of year...........Sorry. Someone had to bust your bubble.