Over the time coming up to this past Easter, I had to some work/shopping in the local malls. While there, I saw something that has irked me little by little each spring.
That's the guy in the damn Easter Bunny outfit for the kids.
Yeah, I know it's sounds like I'm a massive dick, fuck the Easter Bunny and all that, but here's my thinking.
When Christmas time rolls around and they have the Santa at the mall, that's a cool thing. Especially when it's some old cat who has the big white beard, big grin, and all smiles and handing out candy canes for the kids as he asks the little kids if they've been good this year and what they want for Christmas. It's a pretty hip thing for little kids while they still believe in Santa cause they're interacting with a guy who looks and acts the part. And for most families it's a time honored tradition to take the kids to meet him and creates memories that last a lifetime.
Now we get to the Easter Bunny suit guy.
It's like the line from "Mallrats", "That's just some guy in a suit!" It's like the guys who dress up at Disneyland who dress up like Mickey and Goofy and shit. Like whoever is in that Slugger outfit at the Royals games. Put on the fuzzy suit and the headgear with the dippy grin.
Little kids can talk to the cat, sure. But talking back? It's just a muffled voice. The Easter Bunny isn't gonna ask if you've been good since last Easter to make sure you get some damn candy eggs. For that matter the whole bad/good thing NEVER comes up for Easter! You could have been a complete rat bastard all ear and you'd still get the candy! You never hear little kids saying to be good around March for fear of denial of candy!
Man, I don't know what to think of Easter anymore.
Just had to get that off my chest.