Monday, November 17, 2008

Missing someone

Saw on the news today that a place I worked for earlier this year is planning some massive layoffs. I really hated the job in the first place, so I can only imagine what it would be like to still be working there at a crappy job knowing that my head may be on the chopping block. It makes me even happier that I got outta there seeing as how I've been the victim of downsizing/shutting down a couple of times.

So I went through a breakup very recently, been almost a month now, give or take. First time I've really talked in a public way about it.

A lot of factors in the breakup there wasn't just one thing.

What it comes down to for me is I still love the girl, I miss her, I have no hard feelings to her, and in the end I want her to be happy with or without me, but it's for the best that the relationship is no longer.

Yeah, I was the one who put an end to the relationship to an end.

Not really sure what else to say. I keep myself busy, keep my mind preoccupied, no I'm not down with getting into anything new just yet.

But there is that time of the day, it's usually late at night before I pass out in bed that she will pop in my head. I can spend the day without really giving her much of a though, but as soon as I lay head to pillow she will pop in the head and that lonely void will open a little and I'll miss her.

It will pass, it gets a little easier each day. Part of the life experience.

1 comment:

Satyavati devi dasi said...

I know this feeling.

I never let go of anyone I've ever loved. Even if the relationship ended 20 years ago, they still come into my head.

That might just be another symptom of pyschosis, but it's still me, and I know that void you're talking about.