Planet Rusty

Notes of random nature

2008-12-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

Bizarre dream Dept: Had one last night where me and an old girlfriend from waaayyyy back in the day had a couple kids with us and were taking a trip like the movie "Vacation". Instead of the vibrating bed that you put quarters in like they had in the movie, we had a vibrating 2 person bath tub.

Not a jacuzzi, a large bath tub that you put quarters into, and the thing would vibrate. And apparently, I was supposed to be a secret agent as well, cause a screen pops outta nowhere and the actor David Niven (guy who played Bond the the Woody Allen "Casino Royale") shows up on it to give me my next assignment. Cant have some boring, run of the mill dream where I'm doing stuff like laundry, can I???

Never thought this would happen Dept: I think I've lost my taste for drinking!!!! Over the past couple weeks me having a couple of beers and getting a good buzz on the down time has happened less. Tried it on Monday night while chilling out gabbing at people on the internet and didn't enjoy it at all!!! Are the days of the wacky, drunken Rusty over??? That might actually be a good thing.

Enjoy the time Dept: Past few weeks I've only had one day off work cause it's the "busy" season. Yeah, that sucks, but I've done it before. Only real problem is that one day off I've got is me trying to cram a bunch of stuff into that I'm not able to do with the days I work. Right now all I'm wishing for is one day off that I can truly sleep in and not have to do jack shit. Hopefully that can happen next week, instead of using Christmas Day as my "not do a damn thing day" like I have in the past.

Personal update Dept: I have been starting to feel better in my head. Not nearly as good as I want to, but I'm getting there. Yeah, there's been good days and there's been bad days, but the bad days have been easier to stomach. Thank you to friends that I have talked to over the past weeks about what what has been going on in my mind. Still have work to do, but I think I'm on the right track.

Say a prayer for Bettie...................

2008-12-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

Just found this out.............

LOS ANGELES— Bettie Page, whose magazine photographs in bikinis and see-through lingerie helped her become one of the most notable models of the 20th century, was hospitalized in intensive care after suffering a heart attack, her agent said Friday.

"She’s critically ill," Mark Roesler of the Curtis Management Group told The Associated Press.

He said she had the heart attack on Tuesday and was hospitalized Friday in the Los Angeles area.

A family friend, Todd Mueller, said Page was in a coma. When asked to confirm, Roesler said, "I would not deny that," but he would not comment further on her condition.

Page, a secretary turned model, is credited with helping set the stage for the sexual revolution of the rebellious 1960s. She attracted national attention with magazine photographs of her sensuous figure that were tacked up on walls across the country.

Her photos included a centerfold in the January 1955 issue of then-fledgling Playboy magazine, as well as controversial sadomasochistic poses.

Page later spent decades away from the public eye, and during that time battled mental illness and became a born-again Christian.

After resurfacing in the 1990s, she occasionally granted interviews but refused to allow her picture to be taken.

Mueller credits his business dealings with Page for bringing her out of seclusion. He said he first met her in 1989 when he offered her "a bunch of money" to show up at autograph signings.

"I probably sold 3,000 of her autographs, usually for $200 to $300," he said. "Eleanor Roosevelt, we got $40-$50. ... Bettie Page outsells them all."

IPod shuffle survey

2008-12-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

Haven't done one of these in a bit, always fun to do..........

1) Open up your library (iPod, Winamp, iTunes, etc.)

2) Put it on shuffle

3) Press play

4) for each question, type in what song is playing

5) hit next for each question

Here goes everything.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What do people assume when they first look at me?

Darn That Dream- Miles Davis

2. What will be a big challenge in life for me?

Halloween- The Misfits (huh?)

3. Am I a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

Lullaby- Tom Waits

4. Do I have a Secret Admirer?

You Keep Me Hanging On- Madness

5. Will I ever become manically depressed in my life?

Old School Rules- Dangerdoom

7. Is someone trying to kill me?

Down In The Park- Foo Fighters (shit, Dave Grohl is trying to kill me!!!)

8. What is my sexual preference?

Cretin Hop- Ramones (ok, got no clue what that one means, don't even wanna guess!!)

9. What am I afraid of?

Evening at Lafittes- Squirrel Nut Zippers (I'm not afraid of being social!)

10. What will I be doing in a few years?

What Your Soul Sings- Massive Attack (awww, that sounds nice!!!)

11. What is some good advice for me?

Flamenco Sketches- Miles Davis

12. What should I do instead of this quiz?

Get Off This- Cracker (wanna change the world, shut your mouth, start this minute!)

13. Will you get married?

Gasoline- MDFMK (so I take it that's a no???)

14. What is the story of your life?

Phlegmatics- Mr. Bungle (ewwwwwwwwww)

15. How can you get ahead in life?

Strangers On A Train- Lovage (what the hell man?? Never been on a train before!!!)

16. What is the best thing about your friends?

Your Rules- Andrew WK (sweet!!!! And right now I'm thinking it's odd no Bad Religion or Social D have popped up on the shuffle yet. This is MY IPod we're talking about!!!)

17. What song describes you?

Monkey Wrench- Foo Fighters

18. How does the world see you?

Heading Out To The Highway- Judas Priest (COOL!!!!!!)

19. Will you have a happy life?

Terrible Lie- Nine Inch Nails (Oh that just sucks!!!! Fuck you Ipod!!!!)

20. How can I make myself happy?

God Send Death- Slayer (now this shit ain't even funny anymore!! I wanna punch my IPod!!!!)

21. What should you do with your life?

Circles- Bob Mould

22. Will you ever have children?

Zealots- The Fugees

Yep, think the Ipod hates me tonight!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2008-12-04T09:46:00.001-08:00

Now Live!!!!!!

2008-11-30T20:58:00.000-08:00

Gonna share something with you that I've been up to in the time that I haven't been on the ole blog.

Website called Now Live!!!!

In a nutshell it's an internet radio website, but on there there's a bunch of good shows on there that I check out on a regular basis...........

Joe Flynn Show: Joe is a friend of mine who runs a horror movie show on there Monday nights. Interviews, horror movie news, previews, and to top it all off Joe is an all around good guy!!!

The Shark: You'll never have so much fun watching a shark hand puppet!!!! That's all I'm gonna say!!! Shark usually has a show on Saturday evenings and other random times during the week.

The Lou Bawlz Show: You wanna talk Beatles with someone? Lou is your man Lou does his thing Saturday nights.

Ron Purtee Show: Ron plays some good music and the cat is a quick wit. Check him out Sunday nights!

The Asylum: Mr. Voice and his co-host Synful give you the comedy, contests and everything in between on Saturday nights!!!!

Victorian Rose: Rose usually does her thing late Saturday nights, but she also pops on from time to time with other shows.

Adrienne Curry: Yes, it's the same Adrienne Curry that had the reality show!!! Not sure when she usually does her show, seeing as how I only checked it out a couple of times........But what the hell, go give it a gander!!!!

And there's lots of other shows in between for anyone and everyone!!!!

Get a free moment, got over there make yourself a profile and check it out, and meet some cool people on there while you're at it!!!!!

NOWLIVE.COM

Oh come on!!!!! What the hell????

2008-11-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

Starting this thing off. I've started noticing that the only time that I really get a "buzz" from smoking anymore is the first smoke of the day, the one I take on break from work, and the one I light up after I get off work. All the ones in between?? Not so much. Maybe another sign to quit smoking...............

one of these days.

Ok, to the topic at hand. You seen the ad on TV for the thing called the "Snugglie" or whatever it's called? Basically, it's supposed to be a blanket with sleeves in it to keep your arms warm.

You know what it really is??? Or what it looks like to me???

IT'S A DAMN BATHROBE TURNED BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!

You want a Snugglie?? all you gots to do is take your bathrobe, take out the belt, and put the freaking thing on backwards, and it's the same thing!!!!

Go ahead and do it!!! I'll wait here.

YOU SEE?!?!?!?! I'm right on this one!!!

The person who invented this "Snugglie" thing is a bonafied genius!!!!! Take a simple idea like taking a piece of clothing, turning it around, and make a million!!!

Why can't I think up smart shit like that???

I wish I knew how my brain works

2008-11-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

My mind has been going in all sorts of directions over the past few months.

The lows have been very low in my head. I haven't felt like this in a few years.

I do talk to my friends about it, but as of late I'm a little hesitant. I'm afraid of conversations with my friends constantly turning into "pity parties" for me as I try and has out what is going on in my head. Hell, I don't want what I write about on here about me to turn into a pity party for that matter.

You ever have the feeling in you head that you know that you're a smart person, but on a constant basis things, big and little seem out of your control and too big for you to handle? That's the way I feel on a semi regular basis. It confuses me that I have this going on in my head. For pity's sake, I'm a college graduate, and I have the student loans to prove it!

But sometimes (more often times than not), it feels like the whole grand scheme of things, living, working, all the things that encompass being a responsible person seem out of my grasp and that I'm not able to take care of myself. A perfect example is this; I know the amount of money that I need to make to cover the cost of living and any other bills that I have, but I get into the job that pays me that much, my anxiety will kick in and drop kick me into next week, and it feels like my brain will just shut down from all the anxiety and pressure. It leaves me thinking, "If I could find a job that pays this much just for stocking some shelves I'd be in much better shape." But like the old saying goes, more money, more problems.

I have given thought to finding a job closer to my home base and living with a parent until such a time that I feel that I'm in a better place emotionally (and money wise for that matter after getting screwed around by my last job) that I'm ready to take on the world again. I talked to both of my parents about it, and told them how I'm feeling and what I'm going through right now. The reaction was positive, my mom said I could come to her house and the first words out of my step mom's mouth were, "When do we start moving you?"

The thought of it does depress me a little. A guy in his 30's can't handle the big, bad world and has to retreat to living in his dad's basement? Yeah, the idea of that kinda sucks. But at this point, where it feels like emotionally I'm circling the drain the idea does appeal to me. Besides, if I were to move in with one of the parents it wouldn't be on a permanent basis, like I said just to when I feel like I'm in a better place in my head.

A book review and some brain ramblings

2008-11-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

Just read the graphic novel "Black Hole" by Charles Burns.

Wow!!!! What a good read!!!!

The plot in a nutshell is that it's the mid 70s' and there's an STD out there affecting teenagers that for a better lack of words mutates them, giving them things like mouths in their necks, growing tails, etc, who because of these mutations leave home and live in a small group in the nearby forest.

A good book because it shows the life of a teenager. It doesn't matter what decade that it happens in, teenagers will always go through the same turmoil and stress, just add the latest technology and fads for the decade, but it's still the same thing.

So here's something that I have discovered in the time that I have been broke. To be a taste critic of generic soda.

Usually I'm a Coca-Cola guy, but in the need to cut costs I've checked out the generic sodas...............

Vess is pretty good stuff!!!!!! Take Coke and make it just a tad flat and there you go!!!!! Vess!!!! A subtle taste that is still a joy to the taste buds.

Then there's Sam Choice, the stuff they sell at Wal-Mart. The taste of the Sam's Choice Cola is like a cross between Coke and Pepsi. It's a stout soda, but not as sweet as Pepsi. Add a little bit of sweetness to Coke and there you go!!!! Sam's Choice!!!!!

Just consider this a helpful hand to those out there who have bad caffeine addictions who are a little strapped for cash in these shitty economic times.

Another messed up dream!!!

2008-11-19T17:32:00.000-08:00

Here's a goofy one from a few nights ago!!

In the dream I get a tattoo on my neck (a place I would never get tattooed in the first place), but here's the kicker.

The tattoo said Best Buy.

That's right, the electronics store.

But it wasn't the Best Buy logo, It was in a very fancy black cursive with blue dots around it!!!

Now I dig on some Best Buy and all, but to get the word Best Buy tattooed on me in the first place?? Not so much. No less my neck!!!

Are people really sheep???

2008-11-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

Recently I worked for a video store, and here's something that really tripped me out while I was working there.

Every Tuesday is new movie day and we'd get the stuff in and shuffle it out to it's appropriate locations in the store. There'd be good stuff and lousy stuff, it comes with the territory. But here's what would surprise me!!

The lousy stuff would go just as fast as the good stuff!!! It's not just me being a movie snob or something like that. Truly shitty movies would fly right out the door!!!

I kinda figured it out...........

A couple people would see a new movie on the shelf that they hadn't seen before, so they'd pick it up. More people would see that people were picking it up cause of the empty spaces and proceed to pick up more copies. Soon, all copies are gone off the wall, and the other people that would come in once the movie was gone see the empty space and assume that it must be some good movie and bug the shit outta the employees for it!!!!!

WOW!!!!

I always thought that if a movie had Cuba Gooding Jr. in it, it was a general assumption that it was a piece of crap!!!! Maybe I'm wrong.

Missing someone

2008-11-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

Saw on the news today that a place I worked for earlier this year is planning some massive layoffs. I really hated the job in the first place, so I can only imagine what it would be like to still be working there at a crappy job knowing that my head may be on the chopping block. It makes me even happier that I got outta there seeing as how I've been the victim of downsizing/shutting down a couple of times.

So I went through a breakup very recently, been almost a month now, give or take. First time I've really talked in a public way about it.

A lot of factors in the breakup there wasn't just one thing.

What it comes down to for me is I still love the girl, I miss her, I have no hard feelings to her, and in the end I want her to be happy with or without me, but it's for the best that the relationship is no longer.

Yeah, I was the one who put an end to the relationship to an end.

Not really sure what else to say. I keep myself busy, keep my mind preoccupied, no I'm not down with getting into anything new just yet.

But there is that time of the day, it's usually late at night before I pass out in bed that she will pop in my head. I can spend the day without really giving her much of a though, but as soon as I lay head to pillow she will pop in the head and that lonely void will open a little and I'll miss her.

It will pass, it gets a little easier each day. Part of the life experience.

The little know facts about "The Happiest Place On Earth"

2008-11-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

Found this page about Disney stuff.......Thought I'd share.

CLICK HERE!!!!!!

2008-11-15T17:51:00.001-08:00

Sleep, work, and other random stuff that may pop in my head

2008-11-14T19:01:00.000-08:00

Sleep has been weird for me as of late.

Past couple of weeks I've been waking up exactly 2 hours before my alarm will go off. It's not that big of a deal seeing as how I'm pretty much able to drift right back to sleep after it happens. But it does make me ponder why the hell this is happening on such a regular basis.

And the internet has invaded the dreams I've had. One dream was about a recent ex making blog posts saying what a rotten person I am, how I suck, etc. That one was enough to make me check a site she has to see if had really done it while I had been proud to say that I had been avoiding looking at the page she has up to move on. Another dream had someone posting on this very blog page saying all sorts of crazy shit. Ain't it a sign of the times when the internet is now invading my sleep life?

First week at the new job is almost done.

It's kind of retail, but kind of not. Moreover selling a service than a good.......kinda. But like the rest of the "retail" world, things are getting hectic and crazy around the new job, and here I am trying to get a handle on the gig, and act like I know what I'm doing even though I barely have a clue, all the while trying not to ask the manager above me too many questions cause that person has more than enough on their plate this time of year than to handle my constant barrage of questions.

Starting to wonder if in my latest job search it was wise to still stay in a "retail" environment. The way the economy is going the "retail" world is doing pretty shabby, so here's how it breaks down.

-Place not making any money........Payroll for the employees gets sliced down.

-Now about half the people have to do the work of a full staff, which makes things shitty for the employees and the customers.

-All the while you have the people in the corporate offices screaming bloody murder at you because you aren't making the money because yeah, not enough profit to give out payroll, but now that the payroll is slashed and you have less employees working, the customer service just isn't there, and customers slowly fade away!!!

I think a lot of this business does lie in the fact that lots of the higher ups who work in the corporate offices have been out of the store atmosphere for so long that they forgot how it works (or never worked the store level for that matter). But it is a vicious circle of not enough cash to go around. But it's still unfair as hell to expect the same amount of work load done and same amount of profit to come out of a smaller amount of employees.

Who else can't wait for this economy to turn around??? Raise your hands.

Random

2008-11-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

For shits and giggles, I bought a lottery ticket yesterday (haven't checked to see if I won anything yet). Wondered for a little bit if with the economy the way it is right now if sales of lottery tickets are up with people trying to get that extra cash and a better shot at the American dream, or if they're down cause people don't have the extra cash to fork out for the tickets. Hmmmmm..............

I start a new job tomorrow. Job I just got out of was a miserable experience, and glad to be done with it. Told my mom about the new job (a retail position, but not the usual stuff), and she asked if I was ready to deal with all the freaks and weird people that would come in..........

Does she realize how many years I've worked in the retail world? This WHOLE TIME I've had to deal with weirdos, freaks, malcontents, loners, losers, and everything in between!!! You deal with the public for so many years, you start to know what to expect.

I know the news is old by now but hells yes for Obama as our President Elect!!!! I was talking to some friends on Friday night about it, and what here's my take on the whole thing. A new generation of people are taking over for the better. No more dusty old white men in charge of things keeping the status quo the way things have been for so long. Things are changing, times are changing. Those who don't wanna change with it are gonna get left out in the cold, relics of a time that needs not be revisited. It doesn't matter to me the color of Obama's skin, the only thing that matters to me is that he stands as a beacon of hope and change that we need very much right now.

Now with music!!!!

2008-11-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

Decided to take the "jukebox" from my now defunct My Space page and add it here.

Enjoy some music while you read what I ramble on and on about!!!!

Being single? It's all in the numbers............

2008-11-05T20:09:00.001-08:00

Read this and about pooped myself from the laughing..........

Tristan Miller

German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence[1]
20 December 1999
Why don't I have a girlfriend?

This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Unfortunately, there is rarely a hard and fast answer to the query. Many men try to reason their way through the dilemma nonetheless, often reaching a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last: "Is it because I'm too shy, and not aggressive enough? Is it my opening lines? Am I a boring person? Am I too fat or too thin? Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?" When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most fall back on the time-honoured conclusion that "there must be Something Wrong™ with me" before resigning themselves to lives of perpetual chastity.[2]

Not the author, though. I, for one, refuse to spend my life brooding over my lack of luck with women. While I'll be the first to admit that my chances of ever entering into a meaningful relationship with someone special are practically non-existent, I staunchly refuse to admit that it has anything to do with some inherent problem with me. Instead, I am convinced that the situation can be readily explained in purely scientific terms, using nothing more than demographics and some elementary statistical calculus.

Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend must be approximately my age—let's say 21 plus or minus three or four years. Second, the girl must be beautiful (and I use that term all-encompassingly to refer to both inner and outer beauty). Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent—she doesn't have to be Mensa material, but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. So there they are—three simple demands, which I'm sure everyone will agree are anything but unreasonable.

That said, I now present my demonstration of why the probability of finding a suitable candidate fulfilling the three above-noted requirements is so small as to be practically impossible—in other words, why I will never have a girlfriend. I shall endeavour to make this proof as rigorous as the available data permits. And I should note, too, that there will be no statistical trickery involved here; I have cited all my sources and provided all relevant calculations[3] in case anyone wishes to conduct their own independent review. Let's now take a look at the figures.
Number of people on Earth (in 1998): 5 592 830 000[4]

We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested—namely, the population of this planet. That is not to say I'm against the idea of interstellar romance, of course; I just don't assess the prospect of finding myself a nice Altairian girl as statistically significant. Now anyway, the latest halfway-reliable figures we have for Earth's population come from the United States Census Bureau's 1999 World Population Profile (WP/98). Due presumably to the time involved in compiling and processing census statistics, said report's data is valid only as of 1998, so later on we'll be making some impromptu adjustments to bring the numbers up to date.

…who are female: 2 941 118 000[5]

I'd've thought that, given the title of this essay, this criterion goes without saying. In case anyone missed it, though, I am looking for exclusively female companionship. Accordingly, roughly half of the Earth's population must be discounted. Sorry, guys.

…in "developed" countries: 605 601 000[5]

We now further restrict the geographical area of interest to so-called "first-world countries". My reasons for doing so are not motivated out of contempt for those who are economically disadvantaged, but rather by simple probability. My chances of meeting a babe from Bhutan or a goddess from Ghana, either in person or on the Internet, are understandably low. In fact, I will most likely spend nearly my entire life living and working in North America, Europe, and Australia, so it is to these types of regions that the numbers have been narrowed.
…currently (in 2000) aged 18 to 25: 65 399 083[4][5]

Being neither a pedophile nor a geriatrophile, I would like to restrict my search for love to those whose age is approximately equal to my own. This is where things get a bit tricky, for two reasons: first, the census data is nearly two years old, and second, the "population by age" tables in WP/98 are not separated into individual ages but are instead quantized into "15–19" (of whom there are 39 560 000) and "20–44" (population 215 073 000). Women aged 15 to 19 in 1998 will be aged 17 to 21 in 2000; in this group, I'm interested in dating those 18 or older, so, assuming the "15–19" girls' ages are uniformly distributed, we have

39\,560\,000 \times \frac{\left| 21 - 18 \right| + 1}{\left| 19 - 15 \right| + 1} = 31\,648\,000.

Similarly, of 1998's "20–44" category, there are now
215\,073\,000 \times \frac{\left| 25 - 22 \right| + 1}{\left| 44 - 20 \right| + 1} = 34\,411\,680

females within my chosen age limit. The sum, 66 059 680, represents the total number of females aged 18 to 25 in developed countries in 2000. Unfortunately, roughly 1% of these girls will have died since the census was taken;[6] thus, the true number of so-far eligible bachelorettes is 65 399 083.

…who are beautiful: 1 487 838

Personal attraction, both physically and personality-wise, is an important instigator of any relationship. Of course, beauty is a purely subjective trait whose interpretation may vary from person to person. Luckily it is not necessary for me to define beauty in this essay except to state that for any given beholder, it will probably be normally distributed amongst the population.[7] Without going into the specifics of precisely which traits I admire, I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm. From basic statistics theory, the area to the left of the normal curve at z = 2 is

\frac{1}{2} - \frac{1}{\sqrt{2 \pi}} \cdot \int_{0}^{2}e^{-\frac{1}{2}z^2} dz~\approx~0.022\,75

and so it is this number with which we multiply our current population pool.

…and intelligent: 236 053

Again, intelligence can mean different things to different people, yet I am once more relieved of making any explanation by noting that it, like most other characteristics, has a notionally normal distribution across the population. Let's assume that I will settle for someone a mere one standard deviation above the normal; in that case, a further
\frac{1}{2} + \frac{1}{\sqrt{2 \pi}} \cdot \int_{0}^{1}e^{-\frac{1}{2}z^2} dz~\approx~84.1345\%

of the population must be discounted.
…and not already committed: 118 027

I could find no hard statistics on the number of above-noted girls who are already married, engaged, or otherwise committed to a significant other, but informal observation and anecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the proportion is somewhere around 50%. (Fellow unattached males will no doubt have also noticed a preponderance of girls legitimately offering, "Sorry, I already have a boyfriend" as an excuse not to go on a date.) For reasons of morality (and perhaps too self-preservation), I'm not about to start hitting on girls who have husbands and boyfriends. Accordingly, that portion of the female population must also be considered off-limits.
…and also might like me: 18 726

Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she'll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed, there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. In that case, referring to our previous calculation, only 15.8655% of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner.
Conclusion

It is here, at a pool of 18 726 acceptable females, that we end our statistical analysis. At first glance, a datable population of 18 726 may not seem like such a low number, but consider this: assuming I were to go on a blind date with a new girl about my age every week, I would have to date for 3493 weeks before I found one of the 18 726. That's very nearly 67 years. As a North American male born in the late 1970s, my life expectancy is probably little more than 70 years, so we can safely say that I will be quite dead before I find the proverbial girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, she'll probably be dead too.

So there you have it, my friends—finally, a cogent, scientific, non-self-deprecating argument for why I will never have a girlfriend. That said, if you happen to be a girl deluded enough to think that you and I have a chance together, feel free to drop me a line, but I warn you, you face odds of 157 060 to 1. I wouldn't bother if I were you.

Update (2000-04-01): My sarcastic pleas for some e-mail have finally been answered. Take a look at this letter from a hysterical female reader, which I think perfectly demonstrates the point of this entire essay. (I think the fact that she's a WebTV user explains a lot—in fact, I was sure this e-mail was an April Fool's joke until I noticed the return address.)

BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

Not really dead, just in a state of moratorium.............

Many things have went down since I posted on here last year. I'll and bring you up to speed here in the near future.

Final Request

2007-10-04T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's unfortunate to me that over the span of the year death and loss has been a theme that keeps coming up. I started the summer off with the death of my grandfather, and ended the summer with the loss of Greg.

Starting off this post on a happy note, huh?

It got me thinking of how I want it to be when I go. Greg said he wanted all the ladies in red dresses at his funeral, and the man got what he wanted. With this post I hope my luck holds out the same.

So here we go. This is the final request for yours truly.

First off, to help cover the cost of everything, I want some corporate sponsorship. Put the corporate logos on the side of the casket. The first words out of the mouth of the preacher should go something to the effect of, "We're here to remember the life of Rusty, brought to you by Pabst, Little Debbie snack cakes, and Castrol Motor Oil." A little tacky to have a casket tricked out looking like a Nascar true, but funerals cost a pretty penny. No need for people to drop that kinda cash on me if they don't have to.

Second, and I'm standing firm on this one.........NO OPEN CASKET!!!!!!!!
I've never thought people look natural laid out in a casket in the first place. Besides, that body in there? That isn't me. Not anymore. Just an empty shell. Besides I'm not the best looking person around, and who'd wanna look at an ugly corpse?

Instead, pics of me around the casket would be good. But for the sake of my family, no pics of me all drunk and shit. This may be difficult seeing as how I haven't been sober in front of a camera since the age of 19 (except for Jeremy and Shannon's official wedding pics). Hmmmmmmmm...........May wanna rethink that one, or try not being drunk in front of a camera for once.

Next, I want my IPod hooked to the speakers during the visitation and put on shuffle. That way you have to suffer through my oddball taste in music one last time.

During the funeral, I want the song "My Way" by Sinatra played. A good song to make the final bow in life to.

After all that is said and done, find a way to pull out the cash in my bank account and treat yourselves to a keg of Pabst or a round of drinks at the bar. Consider it a last gift to all those who knew me and put up with my antics over the years. I at least owe you all that much.

Finally, don't cry. Hell, if anything envy me!!! I'll be hanging out with some pretty hip folks! My grandfathers, most of the Ramones, The Three Stooges, the Rat Pack, Johnny Cash, Greg, and Bill Hicks! You can pity them cause I'll be pestering the bejezzus out of them for all eternity.

Don't misunderstand me here, I intend on being around here for a pretty long time. Just when my times comes I want there to be no doubt on how I want it all to go down.

A story about Greg Beck

2007-09-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

I shared this story about Greg last night with friends at the Record Bar. I thought I'd share it with the rest of you.

A couple years ago in a college audio production class we were given the assignment to do a mock radio interview with "someone who had a story to tell". The first person I thought of was Greg.

I called him and asked if it would be cool to do it and he said yeah. We set up a day to meet at the Hurricane to do it. The day came and I rolled up there with a mic and a mini disc recorder. After we had a drink (PBR for me, Beam and Coke for him), we got to work. I'd ask Greg questions and let him roll with it, telling stories about things that had went down at the Lone Star and Blayney's. He told of how he became a bouncer, run-ins that he had, and the story about getting stabbed in the face so hardcore that it made his eye come clean out of his socket (doctors were able to save the eye, in case you didn't know). We got done recording, had another drink and I headed out to do some editing to the piece.

I turned it into my professor of the class and he was floored by stories that Greg had told. "Damn," he said, "we need to make a documentary about this guy!" I told Greg that the next time I saw him and he just smiled real big. Needless to say, the interview project got all points possible and a professor that couldn't stop talking about my buddy "Death".

The professor told me to enter the interview in a state wide competition for college students with audio projects. The award ceremony came along and lo and behold my interview with Greg won first place and I got a plaque and 50 bucks for my trouble. After the ceremony I called Greg to tell him we won.

"Cool," he said "Where's my cut?"

In the semesters that passed, the professor would play my interview with Greg for other classes. I'd have friends of mine stop me in the hallway after hearing it in class and ask me about Greg. He had become something of a legend in the Communications department.

The professor has moved on to another teaching position in California where I know that he is playing that interview for his students there.

This story is cool to me for a couple of reasons. First that college kids in Missouri and in California are going to listen to him and be immortalized without ever knowing him or having read his "Death's Door" blog. I did have Greg plug the blog on the interview. I hope those kids go to it and read more. They need to.

Second, that I have a copy of the interview here at home. I don't have the balls to listen to it right now. I know that if I did that I would lose it all over again. But to have this memento of him means more to me than anyone will ever know.

All because he agreed to help me out with a simple school project.

God bless Greg Beck.

Remembering Greg Beck

2007-09-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

I just got home from an impromptu meet-up at the Record Bar of some of the friends of Greg Beck. Many tears were shed at the sudden loss of someone close to us, and many laughs were shared as we thought back to all the good times that we shared with him.

It's so hard to believe that he is no longer with us. To me, Greg was like a second father. Sometimes I used to introduce him to people as that. Always there with the right things to say, direction when I needed it in life. When it came down to it, he was the only person that I knew on the face of the Earth that could keep me in line. Greg told me to do it, I did it without question. Greg was always on the level when I wasn't, therefore I trusted him more than I trusted members of my family.

I looked at the comments that were left on his blog and over at Tony's Kansas City. The amount of lives that he touched here in Kansas City? Just a mere fraction. The stuff that he wrote on his blog touched many people all over the country, if not the world. Reading all the kind things that people have said about him, most of whom had never met him in person makes me feel proud to have been his friend.

Greg was like Paul Bunyan, John Henry, and Superman put into one mountain of a man. I'll miss his friendship, guidance, his blogging, and every single little fucking thing about him that made him to me a living legend.

I'm wanna close this with his "About Me" section from his My Space page. If I can do only a few things that he has done with his life like he mentioned, then I will consider it a life well spent.

I was a bar/club bouncer for 20 yrs and I also ran a liquor store and a rock music store back in the day. I’ve had a vast array of experiences from the pleasure of eating breakfast with Muddy Waters to being rousted by Henny Youngman’s bodyguards.

I’ve been stabbed & shot at, and for shit & grins I’m an ordained minister cause my friends asked me to be. For the last 17 year’s I’ve been gainfully employed by the MAN. My friends tell me that I’m a very blunt and honest person. If I had to describe my biggest weakness, it would be that I tend to be too honest for my own good??

My closest friend is a bonified hot chick 17 years my junior, and I love her to bits. I love rock, Jim Beam, breasts, cats, metal, blues, my website, Death’s Door, the view from the Spanish announcer’s table bars, my computer, my mother and sister, loud music, crunchy guitars, and a drummer with a groove.

I miss big hair, spandex, strippers, crackin off a needle early in the morning and driving downhill with no brakes. I smoke too much, drink too much, fall in love too much. Never been married. I’m smarter then I look and my cat’s been gone for 8 years and I still miss his stupid ass. And I thank God every day that I’m not dead yet.

Rest in peace, Greg. You have more than earned it.

Dated TV

2007-08-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching an old episode of "Twilight Zone" about an old man with strange powers who befriends a lonely girl. Come to find out he's a fugitive on the run, ans the little girl starts to ask questions about why he's on the run.........

"Did you kill someone?"

"No."

"Did you rob a bank?"

(here's what cracked me up)

"Are you a......COMMUNIST?"

I assume that if this was made today communist would have been replaced with terrorist.

Still funny, that back in the day, being a member of the communist party seems like a bigger crime than murder. Maybe it's just me. Not that I'm advocating communism mind you

Who didn't see this coming?

2007-08-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

I've been watching "Rock Of Love" because as far as human train wrecks go, it's the top of the heap. Watching girls compete for the affections of Bret Michaels? Classic. It's one of those shows where you watch and scream and laugh at how dippy these girls can be, but you mutter under your breath, "I'd go there" at certain girls. I gotta admit I think the tattooed up girl Sam is hella cute and it looks like she may have a little bit of a brain in her head.

Browsing Tmz.com this weekend, I find out that one of the girls from the show has already done some porn work post show! The one that goes by Brandi C. The REALLY dizzy blonde is going by the name Brittany and has already popped up on one porno site, with rumors floating around that a couple more feature her.

Yeah, I'll admit it. I looked at it. Nothing special to see folks. She already looked like a porn star in the first place. Bleached blonde hair, fake tits, a tattoo that I suspect hides a Caeserian scar. Seen one you've seen 'em all, so I'll not bother with a link.

I do think it's pretty funny though. With most of the celebrity/wannabe celebrity types, they have to hit rock fucking bottom before they decide to go the showing skin or porno route. Not this girl! She jumped right into it! The show isn't even off the air yet!

But in the new episode last night, she was one of the girls eliminated, cause Bret said that he was afraid that he would only have a sexual relationship with her, and not much else. After seeing her in a girl/girl/guy porno, I have to say, "Ummmmm.....Yeah".

Writing

2007-07-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Satyavati had a good call in her comment about writing something like a screenplay to try and detail some of the happenings in my life that I consider stranger than fiction.

Not a bad idea at all.

I remember in college when I was doing some writing in class. One of my mentors told me to basically get my character up a tree and then start throwing things at him. Meaning get your character in a situation and keep making it more difficult for you character to get out of. Hmmmmm..........Sounds like my life off and on this whole year.

What did I do in those situations? Where I was up the tree and things being thrown at me? I just said fuck it and jumped out. Either hoping that I would land like a cat on my feet or I would be caught by someone. Both would happen, lucky me.

When I'm thinking about writing something, the first thought that I have, much like the "up a tree" scenario is thinking of some of the stuff I've been through, and make it about a 100 times worse or more pathetic. Make it something a little more dramatic from a basic spark from the real world. And also, if I write something truly pulled from real life, and on the off chance it gets published, some folks might get pissed!

I already have first "chapter" in my head. The rest of it? Still coming to me.

Discipline

2007-07-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

Was thinking about the tantrum kid from my last post. I assure that later the mom did take the kid outside to punish him. Didn't see what went down, but the kid was all sorts of in line when the mom came back in.

It makes me think of a conversation that I think we have all had with friends over drinks. A conversation about how our parents would discipline us as kids.

We all talk about how hardcore our parents would spank us with the belt or whatever or whatever kind of mind tricks that our parents would play on us that we all think nowadays would be considered abuse by the powers that be.

What's crazy about when we talk about this? We wear it like a badge of honor sometimes. When we talk about the whippings we would get sometimes there's a little spark of pride in our voices. The spankings were almost like getting a purple heart in the world of growing up. We took the licks, survived, and are better for it.

At least that's what I think.

Tantrum

2007-07-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

End of last week I saw something that I can truly say I had never seen.

It was the cliche little kid tantrum.

I was at work and a mother was in with a little boy not more than 3 years old who didn't wanna be with her, was in a foul mood, whatever. The youngster was starting to whine and moan as he held his mother's hand as they walked. All of a sudden he went limp, fell to the ground while still holding mommy's hand and started to cry and whine while pounding the ground with the free hand and stomping the ground with his feet.

I watched and I realized that I had never really seen what is considered to be the typical tantrum like that! I had seen them plenty on TV, on sitcoms, cartoons, and when I would flip by one of those "nanny" reality shows. This was a first for me.

I stood and watched and had a couple thoughts running through my head. The first was the amazement at seeing this for the first time. The second was, "I wanna slap the taste outta that kids mouth!"

From the void

2007-07-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

The last time I posted on here was April 20th......

Holy fucking shit!!!!!!!! April 20th?!?!?!?

Where the hell have I been? I'm not sure to tell you the truth.

Here's a recap of the last couple of months just off the top of my head.

I recently switched jobs. I blame the stress and sucking out of my immortal soul that the job did for my lack of wanting to post here. Just coming home from a horrible day of work, all you want to do is sit and be quiet, not talk to people because people pissed you off so much during the day that your last nerve is long gone and you know you'll snap at close friends. So far all is good with the new job.

My grandfather dying when work bullshit was reaching a critical mass and my sanity was in question. That went down.

Being the best man in my one of my best friends weddings. Truly a highlight.

Romantic entanglements that could only happen to me. Remember the story of the crazy girl earlier this year? Yeah, we see more drama, but not from her thankfully. I hit a soap opera status that any writer of soaps or romantic films would laugh off as being too out there for fiction. Little do they know.........

And last but not least, weighing the options of returning to college back in the sleepy little college town for graduate studies. Something that I had on my mind while I was in school, was more prominent my last semester, and now the thought won't go away as I weigh more pros and cons as the days go by.

And as always, spending free time with the movie, music, and book collection trying to expand my mind.

More later.

From the man himself

2007-04-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

In my post about VT, I wrote about those who are in school right now who may write about twisted and evil stuff, but may be just fine, unlike Cho. Thinking about the guys and gals who want to be the next Clive Barker or Stephen King.

I just found this over at Entertainment Weekly.com, from Stephen King himself, talking about the exact same thing. I thought I share it.

I've thought about it, of course. Certainly in this sensitized day and age, my own college writing — including a short story called ''Cain Rose Up'' and the novel RAGE — would have raised red flags, and I'm certain someone would have tabbed me as mentally ill because of them, even though I interacted in class, never took pictures of girls' legs with my cell phone (in 1970, WHAT cell phones?), and never signed my work with a ?.

As a teacher, I had one student — I will call him George — who raised red flags galore in my own mind: stories about flaying women alive, dismemberment, and, the capper, ''getting back at THEM.'' George was very quiet, and verbally inarticulate. It was only in his written work that he spewed these relentless scenes of gore and torture. His job was in the University Bookstore, and when I inquired about him once, I was told he was a good worker, but ''quiet.'' I thought, ''Whoa, if some kid is ever gonna blow, it'll be this one.'' He never did. But that was in the days before a gun-totin' serial killer could get top billing on the Nightly News and possibly the covers of national magazines.

For most creative people, the imagination serves as an excretory channel for violence: We visualize what we will never actually do (James Patterson, for instance, a nice man who has all too often worked the street that my old friend George used to work). Cho doesn't strike me as in the least creative, however. Dude was crazy. Dude was, in the memorable phrasing of Nikki Giovanni, ''just mean.'' Essentially there's no story here, except for a paranoid a--hole who went DEFCON-1. He may have been inspired by Columbine, but only because he was too dim to think up such a scenario on his own.

On the whole, I don't think you can pick these guys out based on their work, unless you look for violence unenlivened by any real talent.

The "Look" or, "You want to see WHAT???"

2007-04-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Today I picked up my ticket to see Social Distortion in KC next month. Easily one of my favorite bands, this will be I think the sixth time seeing them. I'm so excited it feels like seeing them for the first time again. Any of you guys going to the show gimme a shout, we'll have a beer or something post-show, and shoot the shit and complain that they didn't play a song we wanted to hear live. Can never be too happy. Just kidding. Every time seeing them has been awesome and worth the price of admission.

But this isn't a "Rusty loves Social D so much it's pathetic, he needs to get a life" post. This about the ticket buying experience.

Usually when I want to get tickets, I'll hit the local Macy's to get hooked up. I've done this since I was about 16 seeing as how it was one of the closest places to do it. And most of my close friends will tell you that my musical tastes are all over the map. I'm the kind of guy who can go from listening to Sinatra to N.W.A at the drop of a hat. Putting my iPod on shuffle is an experiment in fear when it will jump from Louie Prima to Motorhead to Marvin Gaye, but I would have it any other way. Hence, the ticket buying can be just as diverse.

When you get to the service desk at the local Macy's to get tickets, it's usually manned by some sweet older lady that you could swear does quilting with your grandmother. Here's where it gets funny. When you roll up to the counter, and polite as you can be, ask for a ticket for a show for a band with and odd or aggressive name. The facial contortions that the sweet old lady makes.......Hard to describe, but I'll try my best.

The first look is them trying to wrap their head around the name when you say someone like Reverend Horton Heat, a little confused and maybe a little amused. The next look is one of anger or disgust if the name is something that is aggressive cause it's immediately assumed you're one of "those people" who is "evil". The next look is that of surrender. The "fine, whatever" look. You all know that face cause we all make it when we pay bills. Cash exchanges hands, tickets are sold, and the sweet old lady waits for the next person to walk up with a jacked up band name to confuse her and make her wish she could just live off her Social Security check and not have to work this job.

Now do this like I usually do, and do it when you're on a break from work and you're dressed pretty nice and unassuming, the look of a former Student Council member. She's smiling all big for you as you walk up to the counter, a gentle demeanor, a warm smile on your face. "Excuse ma'am, I'd like a ticket for Social Distortion." Cue the look aaaaaannnnnnd......NOW!!!

The only reason that this still trips me out is cause I see so many teenagers still hanging out in malls, with the whole Insane Clown Posse shirt, uber baggy pants, and face full of metal studs going on, and I know they buy tickets to all sorts of jacked up stuff. I figure by now that these youngsters have calloused the older women to the crazy band name thing by now, but I guess that's not the case.

At any rate I look at it this way, for the price of a ticket you get two shows, the one you're paying for, and the one you get to just get there. Both are different levels of entertaining. At any rate, see you at the show and good luck buying your ticket.

Thoughts on Virginia

2007-04-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

I watched some of the coverage tonight about the killer at VT, his sending the pics and video to NBC before he killed the others. I watched some of the video that CNN showed of his angry ramblings. Pretty chilling to know that after he dropped that package in the mail he killed so many with no remorse.

Here's some thoughts I've had about this so far...........

People are asking if there was any way to prevent this from happening. Honestly I don't think so. True, he had a history of stalking, freaked out a teacher, went to a mental hospital, etc, etc......He was a bad apple, true. But I think from what you can see of him now and what we know, he was smart enough to not do anything else that would draw him to the attention of anyone else after his past problems. He opted to not try and get anymore help, kept to himself, and let everything build up inside until it was too late. I think he hit a point that he was beyond help.

What has me really thinking about this is the aftermath that is going to hit this country like a shitstorm. It's already happening.

The gun advocates are trying to say that if the other students were allowed to carry guns than this wouldn't have happened. Now I just have to say, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? That's the worse excuse for anything that I've heard since, "The dog ate my homework.". When I heard that, I had a mental image of a horrible situation being even worse, with kids having some sort of gunfight on the campus, and the fatalities being much worse. Imagine some scared shitless kid squeezing off shots at anything that moves with Cho blasting away. Why do the gun lovers think that if a gunfight happens in real life, it's gonna look like an action movie? Not to mention who is gonna use this shooting for their own purposes in the next election?

My other thought is about the mass paranoia that I'm afraid is gonna happen on college campuses nationwide. Because of this, people looking at that oddball kid who sits in the back of the room with an unfounded sense of fear. Imagine the kid in English classes who aspires to be a horror writer, but is a decent kid. Now, because of the stories of Cho writing the disturbing stories for his classes, twitchy teachers are gonna start having a bias about someone who may write something that is deemed a little "off" or "dark and disturbing". Because of this sad person, creativity will take a back seat to fear and suspicion.

I hope that things like this don't happen, but I have a bad feeling that they will.

Post Easter thoughts

2007-04-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

Over the time coming up to this past Easter, I had to some work/shopping in the local malls. While there, I saw something that has irked me little by little each spring.

That's the guy in the damn Easter Bunny outfit for the kids.

Yeah, I know it's sounds like I'm a massive dick, fuck the Easter Bunny and all that, but here's my thinking.

When Christmas time rolls around and they have the Santa at the mall, that's a cool thing. Especially when it's some old cat who has the big white beard, big grin, and all smiles and handing out candy canes for the kids as he asks the little kids if they've been good this year and what they want for Christmas. It's a pretty hip thing for little kids while they still believe in Santa cause they're interacting with a guy who looks and acts the part. And for most families it's a time honored tradition to take the kids to meet him and creates memories that last a lifetime.

Now we get to the Easter Bunny suit guy.

It's like the line from "Mallrats", "That's just some guy in a suit!" It's like the guys who dress up at Disneyland who dress up like Mickey and Goofy and shit. Like whoever is in that Slugger outfit at the Royals games. Put on the fuzzy suit and the headgear with the dippy grin.

Little kids can talk to the cat, sure. But talking back? It's just a muffled voice. The Easter Bunny isn't gonna ask if you've been good since last Easter to make sure you get some damn candy eggs. For that matter the whole bad/good thing NEVER comes up for Easter! You could have been a complete rat bastard all ear and you'd still get the candy! You never hear little kids saying to be good around March for fear of denial of candy!

Man, I don't know what to think of Easter anymore.

Just had to get that off my chest.

The "Grindhouse" review!!!!

2007-04-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

Just got back from the theatre from the matinee showing of "Grindhouse".

Yeah baby, you need to go see this flick!!! It chews you up, and spits you out, but you jump back in it's mouth to do it all over again.

Before I get into this, lemme just say how weird it is to go to a matinee movie. Here I am in line to get my ticket, and I'm surrounded by parents and little kids all getting tickets for whatever kiddie flicks are showing right now. I assume the firefighting dog movie or the ninja turtles, and here I am getting a mid-day ticket for the least family friendly movie in decades! Makes you wonder who is next to you in lines, huh? Think about that next time you're at the theatre or in line at Burger King.

But I digress..........Back to talking about MOTHERFUCKING GRINDHOUSE!!!!!!!

First off the general look of the flick draws you in. Intentionally made to look old , it's grainy, goofed focus sometimes, missing scenes, washed out colors. It reminded me of watching an old print of a flick at a midnight movie with the Chucky Lou A/V Club like "Destroy All Monsters". The look helps pull you into the flick.

WARNING, MINOR SPOILERS COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The movie kicks in with a fake trailer for a flick called "Machete" with Danny "uber badass" Trejo that looks like a 70's exploitation flick. There's a rumor about a Machete flick that'll be made if the reaction is good. I pray it is, a full length Machete would be too fucking sweet. Then it's onto the Rodriguez flick "Planet Terror", about a gas weapon that's released creating zombies (really fucked up looking ones). So Rose McGowan gets a machine gun grenade launching leg to replace the one ripped off by zombies, and whoops up on some zombie asses. This was great!!! It was gruesome, intense, and funny! Keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time.

Next some more fake trailers. Gotta love the one that Rob Zombie made "Werewolf Women Of The SS", and the one made by Eli Roth (guy behind "Cabin Fever" and "Hostel"), "Thanksgiving". A goofy gory rip off of "Halloween". Now it's time for "Death Proof" by Tarantino.

This one was great, but not as great as "Planet Terror". This one's about Stuntman Mike, played by Kurt Russell, who uses his hot rod cars to kill women he is has an obsession with, until some of the girls decide to get even. Big reason that this one wasn't as good as "Planet Terror" was the pacing. You have a couple of scenes of dialogue that pull away from the main story. Think of Bill's rambling speech in "Kill Bill II", and that's what you have. There was some plot points that were addressed in them, but they were scenes that could have been chopped down a little bit. I think if they were chopped down slightly, the pace of it would have been better, cause at times it felt like you were in a car that would zoom up to 60, then slam on the brakes and go about 15, then ZOOM, right back to 60. A little jarring. And the character development was a little much. It was like Jackson's "King Kong" in that respect where some characters who were not pivotal to the plot got assloads of character background and development on the screen, only to be killed off without hesitation like a red shirt from "Star Trek". Had a little of that going on.

Be prepared to sit folks, and make sure you take a whizz before going in cause the damn thing is about 3 hours long. BUT you're seeing two flicks for the price of one, and yes a couple of the characters appear in both films. There are plot holes yes, but fuck it, that's the fun of this damn movie! It's supposed to be over the top action and gore and intense thrills! You know what you're getting as soon as the lights go down in the house, and this film makes no apologies for the intensity.

Am I going back to see it? Hell yes!!! Am I gonna buy the DVD? You bet your life? I heard that there was stuff that they had to cut out of it so it could BARELY get the R rating it has! What's waiting on the DVD is gonna be pure gold!

(that and I can pause to pee and fast forward through some of that Tarantino dialogue.)

Couple other things of note:

-Check out the Bruce Willis cameo in "PT", and Sayid from "Lost" being a complete dick who like to cut off people's balls. Funny!

-An implied lesbian affair between Marley Shelton and Fergie from the Black Eyes Peas? Hmmmmmm........

-The cameos from Tarantino and Eli Roth all through the flick.

-How many Dodge Chargers do they have to fuck up for movies or TV shows? I want one and I by the time I get the cash to get one they'll all be gone cause they were smashed up in Hollywood!! DAMN IT!!!!!

Go have some fun and check it out sometime this weekend.

Counting down the hours

2007-04-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Ok folks, if this image (cover of the newest Rolling Stone) doesn't want to make you seen "Grindhouse"................

You need to have your head examined!!!!

(Or you're gay. That's not an insult, you're just not into chicks, that's all.)

I'm just glad I gots tomorrow off. "Grindhouse" matinee? HELL YEA!!!!

Next post...........A review and then I stop beating this dead horse.

Anyone excited???

2007-04-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

So right now, I am so FUCKING PUMPED to see "Grindhouse" that anytime the ad comes on TV, I get a hard-on. Not just cause I'm seeing shots of Rose McGowan and Rosario Dawson who are so stinking hot that just the thought of one of them makes me melt. Then I think of the two of them, me, a Barry White CD, a case of Pabst, and a hot tub........But I digress.

You're getting two of my favorite directors together, Tarantino and Rodriguez, with their own stories for two hours of complete awesome. Tell me that don't put a little spring in your step!

To pump myself up a little more, gonna try and watch one of their movies every night this week. Tonight it's Reservoir Dogs on the TV right now. Haven't watched it in a little while so it's a little bit of a treat.

Tomorrow night? From Dusk Till Dawn.

Anatomy of a breakdown

2007-04-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

End of last week I was trucking down I-35 to do some work in Lenexa. I casually look in the rearview mirror and see that the car behind me has their wipers on. Odd, I thought seeing as how it was a nice day, blue sky, no rain to speak of. Just then I see a plume of smoke in the mirror. It occurs to me why this person has the wipers on, I'm losing a vital fluid and something is burning. Lucky for me work was very close. I decided to at least get the truck to work and not risk stopping on the highway.

I hit the exit for work, and as soon as I press on the gas it's my worst fear, the transmission. Keep onto work, only a couple blocks away. I pull into the parking lot at work and look under the truck and watch it bleed out. Not a pretty sight watching the fluid hit the concrete. I call my brother-in-law who is also my mechanic. I tell him what's up and he tells me to try and get it to my place after work, putting as much tranny fluid in it as it can hold and if I have to stop along the way to add more.

The end of the work day comes and a buddy of mine shows up at my work to take me to the auto shop to pick up fluid and follow me back in case the truck won't make it. We add the fluid and watch as it starts pouring out under the truck. Time to haul ass back home, from Lenexa to Gladstone. One hell of a ride. We opt to take a route that will have less stops and traffic congestion. I watch in the rearview as my friend follows me and it's a replay of the drive to work as I see his wipers removing the fluid from his windshield.

One stop to add more fluid on a slowgoing drive home that only got me up to 55 if I was lucky. The truck managed to get home, once again the last bit of the fluid leaking out.

I did manage to get a loaner car from the family, a blazer that I dig driving, but sucks up gas something fierce. I miss my truck.

I didn't sing "Mandy"!

2007-03-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Twice last week I found myself in bars with a karaoke night. In the past the karaoke thing was not my thing, but last year while in college I worked for a little bit in a bar that karaoke was the end all and be all Thursday nights. After a few dozen PBR's, I would belt out the greatest hits of the Ramones and Johnny Cash to the drunken masses. It was fun, hot damn!!!

So the last couple times in those bars, with a little bit of liquid courage in my belly, it was time for me to belt out a few choice numbers. Time to review the songs I deemed worthy of performing both nights.

-"Folsom Prison Blues": Not to shabby if I do say so myself.

-The theme from "Fat Albert": Something I'd wanted to do since I had seen a deleted scene from "Dogma" where Silent Bob rocked it out. I can die happy now.

"Rebel Yell": Ok folks, this was the crowning moment. I took that mic stand in hand like the man Billy Idol himself. I raised the fist and pumped it for the "MORE MORE MORE!!!" My rock scream would make Vince Neil throw all his hottest groupies at me, leaving him all the the sloppy trailer trash teeth gone to meth ages ago. I had that fucking crowd in the palm of my hand!!!!!!

"My Humps/I Will Survive": This was a little odd. I had female back-up singers and "My Humps" was fucked up on the CD. Improptu, "I Will..." came up. Fuck it, run with it!!

"Hunger Strike": Roped in by a buddy, I can hit it high notes like Chris Cornell. What the hell, and 'A' for effort.

"Bodies": Me and a couple other guys doing that goofy Drowning Pool song. Hey, I have a good Nu-Metal/Cookie Monster growl!! Come get some, Fred Durst! HAH!!!

Will the phenom rock a mic again? Only Pabst Blue Ribbon knows for sure.

St. Patty's PSA

2007-03-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

(This is something my buddy Travis wrote. Thinking that it's awesome, pretty smart, and St. Patty's tomorrow, I thought I'd help pass it along.)

Don't hurt me or anything drastic like that.

This is a plea from the down trodden of the SI (Service Industry) that St. Paddy's not take place this year.

As a proud friend and supporter of this put upon group here is the request:

If you...

1) Wear a baseball cap in any way sideways do not go out.
2) Belong to a frat or sorority (or EVER belonged to one) don't go out.
3) Plan on getting totally hammered and making an ass of yourself, don't come out.
4) Are a recovering ANYTHING, don't come out (including alcoholism, sexual addiction, necrophilia, priapism, drug addiction, sheep molesting, goat molesting or anything else - this list is not inclusive if you question it all...you get the idea.)
5) Think that Chumbawumba's Tub Thumping was a great song, don't come out.
6) Believe that you are prettier than everyone else (male or female) don't come out.
7) Think that "WOO!!!" is the proper response to anything, don't come out.
8) Are in the mood to taunt bartenders or waitresses with lewd comments about tipping, don't come out.
9) Believe you are a leprechaun, or that the Irish really give a rat's ass about your 1/10000 bloodline back to the Emerald Isle, don't come out.

And finally...

10) You really think St Paddy's is the best night of the year to go drinking, SERIOUSLY, don't go out.

People who do not fall into the above categories are not exempted. It just means I got tired of writing.

To all my bartender, bar-back and waitron friends...I love you and I'm here for you.

May the gods have mercy on those poor bastards you are destined to pour booze into this weekend.

You are in my prayers.

Catching Up

2007-03-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

Got so wrapped up in the epic saga that was MYG that I've failed to talk about anything else this week.

Angelina Jolie decided to adopt another kid? Shit, what's she doing? Making her own Benneton ad or massing an army for world domination? First act of the Jolie World Order? A cable channel that shows the Tomb Raider movies 24/7!

Watched a "Twilight Zone" last night with Claude Akins in it. No one seems to talk about "Sheriff Lobo" anymore. Come on folks! It was the spin-off of "BJ And The Bear", a trucker and his monkey!

Bought a couple things earlier this week I thought I'd never buy. But what the hey, change is good.

First was a pair of flip-flops. I told myself I'd never get a pair cause, well let's face it, guys have some ugly assed feet, and shouldn't be seen on a regular basis. The other reason was that after spending the last few years in a college town the only guys I saw wearing the things were frat boy assholes. That and having something between my toes drives me nuts. My sock gets between my toes it drives me crazy.

But I decided that I wasn't gonna spend another summer wearing shoes and socks all over. Time for a change. I hit the shoe store and tried on a couple different pairs. I settled on a pair that were pretty comfortable pair, and the piece between my toes really didn't seem to bug me. I goofed around the rest of the day wearing them around. Took a little getting used to walking around in them, but I gotta admit that I dig the things!

The other thing I got? This is a biggie folks, some Rogaine.

Yeah, I got Rogaine. My bald brothers are gonna be really pissed with me.

I'd thought about getting some for a while, if anything to take care of the spot on the back of my head. If the shit can at least make the hair less thin, than that's cool. I don't expect to have a full head of hair after using the stuff, hell may not even work! But why not give it a try?

I don't mind not having a whole lot of hair, but looking at the same amount of hair on the top of my head starts to get old. Like I said, if the stuff works then great, if not, oh well it was only 20 bucks for the stuff. Only downside is you have to keep using it. You stop and the loss comes back. Little bit of a downfall.

Anatomy Of: Final Chapter- Reflection

2007-03-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

In the final move to end this once and for all, I decided to remove any comment that the girl left on my page. It hit me that there's enough people that read this who know my profile page and would see her. Might be a loopy girl, but I should have enough respect to keep her anonymous. And on top of that I blocked her from contacting me on MySpace. To keep an open line for her to contact me is to flirt with disaster. It's easy with a person with that much drama in a life to suck in others before they know it. I got about ankle deep in it, and that's all I want. Granted she may still have the digits, but it's smart to cut off what ties I can.

Time to reflect on the whole deal. Been single for a while now, and since the start of this year, I'd like to meet someone. But I have some smarts about it, hence the events in the last paragraph, but still kicking myself a little for the events of the weekend. I REALLY should have said thanks but no thanks when she dropped the BF bomb. But I was curious about this girl, who knows, she may have had a friend she wanted me to meet, that was an option.

Now it's time to break down the simplicity of what I'm looking for. Let's take the example of the MYG (MySpace Girl), but let's make her single for the example.

To me, MYG was attractive to me, in the profile pic, and in person. Hate to sound like an ass, but that's one thing I need. Has to be visually appealing to me and everyone, even though they may deny it, wants that. My level of attraction there can vary. I've looked at girls wand had my friends think she had a horse face, and of course the ones who I looked at that were generally accepted as good looking. MYG had the visual appeal down. Very easy on the eyes.

NOW, let's hit what MYG DIDN"T have after I found out what I did. The mentality/moral/ethics (we'll lump them into one). To me, a girl can be all sorts of hot, but upstairs if she's superficial, stupid, crazy, slutty, etc, then that screws the deal and it's see ya later. This seems like common sense to me. Why would you wanna be with a person that does not work with you on that level? I've been shot down because of this before, and I've seen people who have been with others because of the physical attraction and nothing more. And Lord help me, when I was younger I had done it before! But I had enough common sense to kill it before it it went too far. At least I was smart enough to do that.

So let's take our example of MYG if she was single. Yeah, to me the physical was there, but when I would have found out how much of a nutbar she truly was, than I would have cut ties with her in the nicest way possible. Probably no easy or nice way to do have done it, but it would happen.

It's been just about a week since this whole torrid(?) affair went down, and this is a good way to close this trilogy of insanity. I gain a little more clarity as to what I look for, affirm what I know inside.

(and thank the stars that NOTHING happened with this girl! In the words of a friend of mine about this whole deal, "You came out of this looking like a rockstar!" Better a rockstar than having dookie on my chest and getting sores on the privates.)

Anatomy of "What The Hell?" Part Two: Rusty Dodges a Bullet

2007-03-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

The cute crazy ones just loooooove me!

Ladies and gents we have an update!!!!

A doozy!!!!!

From what Greg likes to call an "inside source" (I have 'em too!), I got a call from a source dropping some info on the MySpace girl.

Where to start? Well, the boyfriend she has? Lives with 'em! Ballsy girl, to be hitting on a fella under the same roof she shares with another guy.

Here's another bomb! I knew she had four kids (nothing wrong about that) from FOUR DIFFERENT DADDIES (ok, something really wrong there!) The source told me that she divorced her husband, and wound up hooking up with the current boyfriend, which is the father of her first kid, who gave up rights to him back in the day, and has no idea that he's his father! And allegedly the relationship for her right now is more or less a sugar daddy affair to have a roof over her head (hence looking me up on-line?) "Young And The Restless", eat your heart out!

Time for another one! Heard this one from a girl who went out with her one night. As they were driving home from the bar one night, she was piss drunk (set-up for a joke with that), bragging about how she had given her then boyfriend a golden shower and a Cleveland Steamer!

Let me repeat that........She gave the guy a GOLDEN SHOWER AND A CLEVELAND FUCKING STEAMER!!!! I'm sure you know what those are, if not ask your sleazier friends. Upon hearing that, I was grateful that nothing happened cause I don't have rubber sheets on the bed. Man, this is the girl of Larry Flynt's dreams! Not so much me. Pee and poo? Those belong in a toilet, sample jars in a hospital, or the strong throwing arm of a chimp, not in fornication. Hot and heavy? Cool! Hot and heavy and dooky? Uhhhhhhh...............no.

(not to mention while she was bragging about this, she was so drunk that she wound up pissing herself. What can I say, the girl loves the gold flow.)

Time for the last bombshell that was dropped on me. Miss MySpace has the gift that keeps on giving! That's right folks, Herpes!!!

Hearing all that I got the mental image of me waking up next to this girl, picking peanuts and corn off my chest, with cold sores like the guys from Spinal Tap. For whatever reason things didn't happen (as mentioned in the last post) between us, I don't care now! Whew!

Ok folks, time to start a betting pool here. What will the next girl that shows an interest in me do?

Will she?

-Cut out my heart for a satanic ritual?
-Cut my face off and wear it as a mask?
-Think she's Elizabeth Taylor?
-Carve my name into arm?
-Carve her name into MY arm?

Or will she be a normal, well adjusted person, no social diseases, boyfriends, no skeletons in her closet who finds me attractive, thinks I have a good personality, and thinks I'm witty and funny? (yeah right)

Place the bets now!!!!

Anatomy of, "What The Hell?"

2007-03-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

or.............Meeting People You Met On-Line Isn't Always A Good Idea.

I'll break this whole story down from the past few days.........

Wednesday Night: I'm goofing around on MySpace, deleting the friend requests from web cam girls, when in all of them is a friend request from a lady that lives near me. Around my age, pretty cute, and found me to top it all off! Thinking what the hell, I accept the request, and there's immediately a message from her. The rest of the evening is us talking about ourselves till she signs off.

Thursday: We talk on MySpace more. That evening, I look at her profile and I'm the number two friend on there! I'll be damned! To be a nice guy, I put her up at number two as well. She asks if I would like to meet up of lunch sometime. I tell her yes and to let me know when and where would be good for her. She suggests I meet up with her Saturday night, as her and some friends have a "girl's night out" between the Plaza/Westport/Downtown. I agree. First mistake? A guy meeting a girl for the first time while she's out with her friends? Spider Sense is tingling. A little bit of flirting is happening between us, the two of us filling the others comments.

Friday: More talking on MySpace. She admits to me that she has a boyfriend! The pic of a guy on her page is now referenced as boyfriend, and now there's a pic of the two of them that wasn't there the day before. Hmmmmm.........She asks if I'm still up for meeting her. I went ahead and said yes. I was curious.

Did this girl want:

To dump the current guy and meet someone new? I'm not a prize winner, but looking at the pics of her beau? Guy makes a bison look like Clooney!

Just to meet someone new as a friend? That was what she said when she told me she had a boyfriend. Looking at her profile her status was "Divorced", and the one pic of her beau on the page said nothing about him being a boyfriend. Something is rotten in Denmark.

A one night stand? If the girl has a guy, the answer is no. Even if her current guy looks like a bulldog. Like I said I was curious about the whole deal, and I had already agreed and didn't want to look like a dick.

Saturday Night: The big night. I get home from work, change clothes, get some friends to ride with for the meet-up, and away we go.

The bar on the Plaza her and her friends are at is packed to the gills. We find them, and I get to meet her face to face. Cute girl! Thinking twice about the one night stand thing. It's a little too packed for my friends, so they head to a joint less busy down the block. Already there's a problem. One of the guys from that "Home Makeover Make People Cry" show is talking to the group of girls, dropping sleazy flirting. I can't get a word in edgewise. Great.

The group decides to hit a dance club downtown. Now you folks know me..........

Rusty+dance clubs=oil and water. Hell, it was a miracle I agreed to go to a trendy Plaza bar! I was starting to miss the Buzzard Beach. I called my crew and told them what the plan was. They were eating where they were at and would meet me and the girls down there when they were done. I hopped in the girl's SUV, and away we went.

On the way the three girls in the car talked about their divorces and the settlements they got. I was able to get out my current job and some other little snippets about me, not much else.

We hit the night club. Huuuuuuuge fucking line. a member of the group that met us down there said we could bribe the doorman to let us in for 50 bucks for the group. Fuck me running! I hadn't paid to get into a club in a few years, and had NEVER had to bribe my way into a place! A situation like that usually I'd laugh and flip off the door guy. I consented and put some money in with the others. When we get in, we still have to pay the door charge! 15 dollars just to get in the damn place now! My thoughts go to how many PBR's I could have sucked down at the Buzzard for 15 bucks. I called my friends, and told them what was going down. Now way they're be able to pull the same thing to get in if they wanted to! It was agreed that they'd just come and pick me up when it was time to bail.

We get into the dance club. Seen one you've seen 'em all. I was trying to estimate the amount of cocaine and roofies that the patrons had on them. But on the upside, the group I was with was pretty nice and having some fun, and no "Home Makeover" jackass with us. We hit the main dance floor with some drinks. I gotta admit that I danced around a little, and was having a good time. A little after I got the call from the friends. They were on the way to pick me up, so time to go.

I told the girl in question that I had to take off, so she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I give her one back and take off to meet the friends and head home.

The verdict? She seemed lie a nice girl and I had a good time, but wished I had a better opportunity to talk to her, what with the loud music, other friends of hers, and the Bob Vila asshat, not much of a chance.

Sunday, THE DAY AFTER: I get a message from her asking if I had fun. I told her I did, and that I wished I could have hung out a little longer, but we'd be able to next time, leaving it open for meeting in the future. The only other communication that day was her saying that she liked the changes I made to the profile.

Monday: Tonight I go to the MySpace and I notice that I've been dropped as her friend cause she's out of my top friends! I go to look at her page and it is now set to private and I can't see shit. What the hell?

I had a couple theories brewing in my head. I called a friend who I had talked about the whole situation to, she looked and indeed, the profile was private for her as well, meaning that I hadn't been blocked be her.

The general assumption between the two of us? The bison-looking boyfriend found out what went down, what with the two of us meeting up, got pissed, and made her drop me as a friend and set the profile to private. The only other things that I can think is that she wasn't that impressed with me in person, and decided to just drop me as a friend, or she felt bad about flirting with another guy, and dropped me. I'm going with the first. My friend also reminded me, cause I couldn't remember, that she had dating down as one of the things she was looking for along with networking and friends before the admission of having a boyfriend. And that's where things stand as of now.

MY FINAL VERDICT:
On my page I have dating down as one of the things I'm looking for, just to see what's shaking, me not really looking on my end. She finds me, and likes what she sees, sends the friend request, and we start talking. To be honest, she comes clean about her already dating someone, but is still displaying an interest. The meeting goes down...........And I already told you the rest and what at this point myself, the friends I had told about this, and now you, can only assume or speculate.

As of now, I deleted any messages from her in the MySpace inbox, and took her number out of my phone, but have not deleted any comments that were left by her on my page. I'm still trying to be a nice guy here. At any rate, she seemed nice and all, and if she was truly single, I'd be all about her. But I had to satisfy my curiosity about the whole situation, and I hope that her beau isn't the kind of asshole that would slap her around because of this (maybe a reason to look for a new guy? Another theory! Like I said, hope that's not the case). I've speculated a little, now it's time to move on, but I have a heck of a story that could be suited for a cheesy TV-movie.

I've been checking the MySpace page while I've been writing this, and still no communication. But if anything else comes up (doubt it), oh yeah, I'll let you know.

To "Scooter" Libby:

2007-03-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Hold on......Let me catch my breath...........

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

GUILTY!!!!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I know you won't do hard time. You're rich, you're white. That max of 25 years I heard? You won't get that. You won't get the pleasure of being locked up in some hard-core jail where you get passed around between some hard-core badasses for smokes (like you need).

But I gotta hand it to ya, you didn't rat out the bug guys. It was just like one of those mafia movies! You kept your trap shut, played(?) dumb, you'll do a little bit of time, and prove your loyalty to the "family".

Did Cheney shooting that guy in the face scare you into silence? I'll bet when he did that it wasn't and "accident", it was an example. "I shot a guy I like in the face, imagine what happens to Libby if he rats me out!" That Cheney, he's like Gotti, but with a perma-sneer on his face. The Don of DC. I don't really blame you Scooter, I'd rather face a few years in a white collar prison than a face full of buckshot.

By the way, what the hell kind of nickname for a grown man is "Scooter"? For pity's sake you're rich and powerful and a mover and shaker with the most powerful men on the planet and you're called "Scooter"? Wasn't that the name of one of the Muppets? What's Cheney's nickname, Cuddle Bear? What about "W"? Do you guys call him Alfred E. Newman behind his back?

Anyways, time to wrap this up. I really wish that this had went down sooner, and it would have been nice to take a few of the big guys down with you, but it's ok, I'll take what I can get.

Rusty sees "300"

2007-03-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

"PREPARE FOR GLORY!"

By a stroke of good luck I was able to snag a pass to an advance screening of "300" tonight, showing in Olathe. I get off work, grab a buddy of mine and we hustle over to Kansas to check it out.

All I can say is WOW. What a beautiful looking movie.

But don't take the kids. People get killed in a harsh way, and there's a little skin.

The story is about a Spartan king who goes out with 300 of his best warriors to secretly take out an invading Persian army that numbers in the tens of thousands because he was told not to wage full on war by the ruling council. All the while back on the home front, his wife, the queen, is trying to muster support for his husband however she can. The story comes from a graphic novel written by Frank Miller who also wrote "Sin City".

Like I said, it's a beautiful movie. I got caught up in the colors and the shooting of the film while watching intense battle scenes. I got so caught up in the look of the film, that seeing something like a guy get run through with a spear or lose a limb (or a head) to a sword seemed like an afterthought.

My hat is off to the director Snyder. He was able to take the original sourcework of illustration and make it look just as good. It takes a lot to take a work from Miller and translate it to the screen and do it justice. Look at "Sin City". Rodriguez was able to take the story and bring it to the screen without flaws, and the look of that was a pretty tall order. Epic battles made that looked like no effort was made to bring it to the screen. Impressive.

You got some free time this weekend? Go check it out.

Sick day movie review

2007-03-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

BOOM!!!

A cold that I picked up sapped my strength and left my brain a puddle of non-responsive goo. No other option than to go home, chug NyQuill, and watch a flick I hadn't seen in a while.

The film? The old school TV movie "The Day After".

I remember watching this one as a kid when it was first on TV and it scaring the ever loving shit outta me. The scene when the bombs hit and the people vaporizing? Sent me screaming to my room, scared to death that it would happen, and back then it might have what with the hard cold Cold War.

Weird to watch it nowadays, cause the fear of something like that happening, for the most part, has been replaced with others. But still the thing is still intense even for as old as it is.

Gotta jump back to the start though. The cover? A pic of Kansas City getting blown to bits? I think there's been days we've all wanted that. And then to watch it and see a destroyed Lawrence and Brookside/KC. Damn, how 'bout that. Maybe it made it hit closer to home. Back in the day, I'd have loved to hear the reaction of someone from KC and someone from a place like Boston see who it affected more.

But you gotta admit that there's a little of a cornball factor. There's the cliche characters like the people trying to get back their homes or loved ones all the while slowly dying from radiation sickness. And seeing the effects of the sickness? If that kind of thing ever did happen? I wanna be one of those who's a pile of ashes at the start, and not one of the ones slowly wasting away. Call me crazy. And you can never take a movie too seriously when it has Steve Guttenberg in it. The scene with him bald from the radiation I can hear the noise guy from "Police Academy" in my head.

All in all, it still holds up. It's more of a slice of the past from bygone fears nowadays. You want to get a better slice of the fear of the bomb check out (one of my favorites) "Fail Safe". Can't really recommend it when you have a head fulla cold medication though. Watch something funny.

Rusty will confess

2007-02-27T22:03:00.000-08:00

Tony Stewart was FUCKING ROBBED at the Daytona 500!!!

Time to confess what a few friends of mine already know.

I dig Nascar. There I did it. I'm not a redneck, Larry The Cable Guy is not my personal savior, I have all my teeth. Stop looking all shocked.

How'd I get into it. My dad digs it, and anytime I'd drop by his place on a Sunday, he'd be all into whatever race was happening. I'd give in and watch it too, slowly realizing that I really dug on watching the racing.

Ok, now the whys of me getting into the racing. First off, the endurance factor of the whole thing. Driving over 180 miles and hour for a few hours, only brakes you get are the handful of seconds in the pits or when the caution flag is out. Any other sport, football, baseball, basketball, players get brakes, halftimes, taken out of the game. Racing? Can't really change drivers, it's balls to the wall, inches away from another car going just as fast and a minor slip? Your car is so much scrap all over the track. Intense.

Another reason why I dig the racing. The racers actually have personalities. You see another athlete on TV or listen to them on the radio and you could swear that they were dropped off at the stadium or arena by a short bus. Vacant look on the face, a little slack jawed. They look like they took one too many hits to the head (except when they go on radio shows and ramble about how they hate gays or something like that). I know not all are like that, but damn near all of em are.

And watching it on TV is a trip. The shots from the camera beside the track when the cars go by. It sounds like a horde of pissed wasps shooting by. I can only imagine what that sounds like there. And listening to the color commentator Waltrip during a race. What the hell, do they make that guy do a few lines of coke and slam a case of Red Bull before the race? When the cars are under a yellow flag and going slow, he's in the booth flipping out and talking faster than that guy from the old school Fed Ex ads. You can only imagine what he's like when the race is going full steam.

There you have it. I'm not gonna be going to a Toby Keith show anytime soon, I don't have a dip of Skoal under my lip right now, and I can't line dance, but I dig on the Nascar. Add that to the other oddball stuff I dig.

Little bit 'o music

2007-02-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

To start off, is it just me, or does it really FUCK with your head that they're using the Violent Femmes song "Blister In The Sun" for fucking Wendy's??? Isn't that a song about jerking off or something like that? Yeah, while I'm eating a burger I wanna think about a song about beating your dick like it owes you money.

That being said..............

Picked up an iTunes card today to pick up some songs on-line. Why'd I pick up the card? You think I'm gonna put my bank account info out there for every asshole to pick up? No thanks! Not even with PayPal will I go there. Known enough people who have been shafted and got their credit fucked up to deal with that!

What did I buy? Glad you asked! Here's a sample of what I purchased (or how messed up in the head I am)

"Gin and Juice", and "Guerilla Radio" by Richard Cheese
"Gimmie All Your Lovin", and "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top
"Blue Orchid" by the White Stripes
"99 Problems" by Jay-Z
"To Be Loved" by Papa Roach (so I like one song from an otherwise shitty band, cut me some slack!)
"Let's Get It Started", and "Hey Mamma" from Black Eyed Peas

And from the 80's.........."Dead Man's Party" from Oingo Boingo and "One Night In Bangkok" from Murray Head (the last one falls under show tunes as well, no homo).

Last but not least........Sid Vicious covering Sinatra's classic "My Way".

Hey, I'm just a guy with some way jacked up taste in music who likes to cover all the bases.

Quick note

2007-02-25T22:01:00.000-08:00

Finally got some of you guys out there who have linked to me linked to you.

Sorry it took me a bit, didn't mean to be a dick or anything.

Lazy day

2007-02-25T21:18:00.000-08:00

Thursday was my day off. A day of note because it was my first day off from work since my move where I didn't have to use the day to move just a little more of my stuff or drop by work for just a few moments to take care of some little thing. That's right, a day off where I didn't have to do jack shit.

How did I start this day off? How else? A hangover!!! The night before I was out with some friends knocking back a few dozen beers, with a trip to Chubby's later to soak up a little bit of the booze, with a hobo sitting in a booth down from us rambling about how we and anyone were "faggots". Odd, seeing as how none of us sucked his dick and are straight (the sarcasm meter is going off the scale folks!).

It's one of the signs of getting old when you don't snap right up from a night of drinking the next day. So the first couple of hours of the next day were spent laying in bed, waiting for the asprin to kick in, not giving a shit as to what I was watching. Hell, it could've been "The View" for all I cared, my mind was still a puddle full of beer and Chubby's chili cheese fries.

Time to get outta bed. The minor plans for the day were (no particular order)

Wash the truck, it looked nasty.
Cut my hair.
Maybe do laundry.
Maybe do some cleaning.

The truck was was vital. Screw the rain coming in a few days, it would've just made the salt, grime, and dust all over the truck even nastier. The last bit of the hangover died as I went over the hood with the sprayer a second time. The truck was back to the usual red.

I dropped by an old friends work to see him. Hadn't seen him in at least four years. He seemed to be doing good. Good to reconnect.

The laundry? Screw that. Too much like work on a day off. Same with the cleaning.

Time to cut the hair. I tried to let it grow out for an upcoming wedding, but the thin spot on top made it look like I was on the verge of a comb over. Time for the clippers. Now where's my small mirror so I can see to cut the back?

Can't find the little fucker. Damnit! Maybe I should have cleaned.

Can't let that stop me, the only other reflective surface that I can find? A CD. Not exactly a mirror, but I can see the other mirror. Better than doing it by feel, risking missing a spot on the back of my head, and looking like a jackass.

The day is complete. What to do now? Lay around and watch Adult Swim as I drift off to sleep. I dread the next day for fear the hangover may not be totally gone. Fuck it, tomorrow isn't a problem. Not right now.

Shaved heads, big fires, and the media

2007-02-19T07:27:00.000-08:00

The media the past week, what the hell???

Britney shaved her head and got a couple tattoos with a rumor of a quick re-hab check in. Yeah, so?

Who knows why she did it. In the long run does it really matter in the big scheme of things? Not really a fan of her, but you gotta feel sorry for her sometimes.

She hooked up with the wrong person, who hasn't at least once in their lives?

Messy break-up? Raise your hands folks, more than a few of you out there been through that.

Blowing off steam after a break-up with some partying. Once again, a show of hands.

Some of the baby stuff that's went down. We all know someone out there who has at least one stupid thing with their kid, or the little bastard got knocked against something. That shit happens.

Now take all that stuff, lots of stuff an average person has been through, and add being in the public eye, WORLDWIDE no less, having people pull a holier than thou attitude to try and judge what you do and why you do it. You can't take a step without the whole world watching you and being critical, cause you can't please everyone. How long would it take for you to full something that looks like a huge middle finger to the rest of the world like shaving your head?

I don't need to follow your rules, and I don't need to jump through all these hoops to try and make all you silly bastards out there happy. To prove it, I'll do something that screws with your jacked up notions of what beautiful is like shaving my head! There! A bald head! Now I'm "ugly", leave me alone!

In the end, I'm not suprised she did it, and I don't blame her.

And don't give me the crap excuse about she shouldn't have tried to be a singer if she didn't want to be constantly watched.

Now onto the KC media and the Kennedy's fire...............

Five firefighters were hurt trying to stop the blaze. Of course that's a horrible thing. But did we really need every news station in the city giving us coverage of the fire, repeating the same info over and over again, for that damn long?

Was it a slow news day? It must have been. Was it news that sobbing chicks all over were calling about wedding dresses that went up in flames?

Don't even get me started on the whole dead Anna Nicole thing

Geographical adjustment

2007-02-16T07:59:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm in there somewhere..................

This one has been the biggest adjustment since becoming a Northlander.

Quite a bit of the time when I was living in the heart of the city I'd work in the Northland. As I would drive to work, I'd check out the southbound lanes of traffic and the bumper to bumper traffic as commuters would crawl to their jobs. My northbound lanes were free and clear. When I would head home the northbound lanes would be just as much of a mess as people would try and hurry home to their families. My southbound lane would be empty with me clipping along at a happy pace. King of the road. My thought anytime I would see that was, "Man, I'm glad I'm not one of those poor assholes."

Guess what? Now I am!!!!!!

I am now a slave to the I-35 morning commute until I get sent back to work North or I find one of those mythical routes to work that people speak of that no one uses that will get me to work faster than I can blink.

The first day of this commute was Monday. You know what Monday looked like.

Snowy,
Icy,
Slick,
Traffic at a stand still,
People driving like fucking morons. That one still gets me to this day. Bad road conditions, but people drive like a 16 year old who just got the license yesterday, driving right into a median. But I digress.........

Maybe it's karma, me laughing at people stuck in rush hour traffic for so long. All I know is I'm counting down the days till I get a work transfer North or I find that yellow brick road that will drop me right off at work pretty as you please with no constant stomping on the brakes.

Back in the city

2007-02-15T20:34:00.000-08:00

A month went by since the last post?

Oh geez...........That'll change now.

The move back to KC is complete. The final touch was getting the cable/internet hooked up today. The DVR for the cable? Now my new favorite thing.

Let's re-cap the actual move.

Don't move with a hangover. It's never a good idea, especially when it's bitter cold out and you forget how heavy most of your stuff is.

Another thing not to do(if you can avoid it)? Don't use a gravel road unless you want a thick layer of dirt on your stuff, adding to the work you have to do unpacking what with the dusting and all.

This new place will be a first in the KC living, what with me living in North KC this time instead of Midtown. A little quieter 'round these parts. Less hobos asking for my spare change. Will take a little time to get adjusted to the surroundings up here. I can still get around Midtown with my eyes closed, but up here I can get turned around and lost in the blink of an eye. Oh well.

News from the front

2007-01-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

Been a bit since the last post. Time to fill you in.

The job hunt has been successful, and employment has happened. And naturally, it has nothing at all to do with the degree that I have recieved, but pays way more than what I would make in the career field for the degree and all. Ain't that always the way? When you so to college you hear the horror stories about people never finding the right job, or when they do it pays less than what a hobo makes begging on the street. You say that it won't happen to you, and you'll get that brass ring at the end of it all. But then you wind up like all the others who are doing the last thing they expected to do at the end of the day.

But you find some other job that pays out the ass that has nothing to do with what you did in college, and they want to throw even more money your way just cause you have A degree! Don't matter what the hell it's in! You could have a degree in clubbing baby seals to death and get a sweet job with nothing to do with wildlife or the use of a blunt object for the purpose of smashing a skull.

Don't get me wrong, that extra amount that I'm getting cause I got a piece of paper is sweet, especially when it come time to start dropping mad duckets to pay for the education, and the job is a pretty decent one with all the normal ups and downs that employment has.

I suppose you can call it the life lottery. Like all the thousands that flock to Hollywood every year to "make it big", or the countless bands that ship demos off to record labels to get that sweet contract. Out of all those countless people? Only a handful are gonna make it. The rest will keep plugging away, buying more "lottery tickets" till it happens for them or they decide to stop playing. It's the same for a college graduate more or less, but because of that piece of paper you have a little better odds. Grand prize is that sweet dream job, runners up get a well paying job not in their field of study. I guess the only ones left are the one that decide to go back to grad school for a little bit, and hope to better their odds.

Quick note

2006-12-27T10:41:00.000-08:00

Net access is limited for me right now, hence the blog sitting idle for a little bit.

Still looking for a job and I don't give a damn where I get one at this point. Other that that the holidays have been going well.

Not much else to say for now, I'll leave it at that.

Post Graduation

2006-12-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

Welp, this weekend it was all said and done as my ass graduated from college finally.

Funniest moment in graduation: My family decided to suprise me and fly my brother out for the ceremony. I'm watching everyone get out of the two cars, mom, dad, grandmothers, and then my brother pops out of the back seat last, suprising the complete hell out of me.

I yell, "HOLY SHIT!" as soon as I see him...........Right in front of my grandmothers. Lucky me the only one who heard it didn't care and understood. The other grandmother was yakking up my mom about something and it slipped by her.

So big thanks to all that popped out on Saturday night to have a couple of drinks and a little bit of fun. Yeah, I got home fine that night and didn't puke my brains out or anything like that. Like I told you guys I kept things a little civilized. A little anyways.

What next? Not sure. Right now I'm the cliche geek who is living with a parent, but hopefully soon that will change. Fingers crossed anyways.

Thoughts on graduation

2006-12-14T23:41:00.000-08:00

It's about a quarter till 2 in the morning. I've hit a stopping point in the packing/cleaning of the apartment. Now it's just counting down the hours until I graduate from college.

I was telling a couple of friends that I kinda feel like that old cat from "Shawshank Redemption". I've been here so long that to leave feels odd and strange now, and Lord forbid I'm thinking of ways to stick around A friend pointed out that I'm leaving a social life, work, other friends, etc, that I've had for about three years now.

And that seems right on the money. True, I'll come back to visit to the sleepy little college town, but that's all it will be from now on, visits. I don't shuffle a few blocks away to the apartment now, I hop in the truck and go to wherever home is going to be in the near future.

I think about all that has went down in the time that I've been here at school. Doing something as simple as deciding to finish a college education has had a tremendous amount of highs and lows. When I decided to do this and put the life I had on hold to go through with this, some said that it was a big thing to do. A big risk, a bold step to pull up the roots and settle somewhere else in order to get it done. I never really saw it as something that big. I saw it as something that simply needed to happen, even though it meant not making nay money and being away from friends and family, making spending time with them the visits I talked of earlier.

I look back at this whole event in my life and look at everything that went down from deciding to do this in the first place to where I am today. I am positive that I still would have gone though with this because to me it was something that needed to be done. But there are little things that I would have done a little differently looking back now. I didn't realize them then (and there are too many to mention right now), but now they're as plain as the nose on my face. I guess that's the growth that I've had as a person over this course of time. When you reach a certain age, you stop thinking that you're done learning about life in general, and from here on it's just learning the facts, figures, and calculations to get though the day. That's not the case. I think that I've grown more as a person during my time here than any other time in my life. The second period that would fall would be the time I spent working/hanging out at the Hurricane.

So yeah, this weekend I'm getting a degree (and a whopping student debt), but I feel like I'm walking away from the sleepy little college town with a whole lot more. I know that may sound corny as hell, but that's what it feels like.

And with that, I wanted to add that for the time being my internet access will be very limited. Not like I've been posting a whole lot lately anyway, but for now I have a legit reason.

Adventures in moving

2006-12-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

With graduation comes moving.

What a pain in the ass.

It's the typical thing of not knowing just how much stuff that you have until you have to shove it all in boxes and figure how to pack them all in a truck. I'm just one guy with not really a whole lotta crap, but I imagine a person with a couple of kids and a whole house full of furniture and I cringe at the idea of that.

Sunday I decided to take a small load of stuff to ease the burden later this week, some of the big crap that takes up a lot of the bed of the truck. The last thing to load was the DVD rack. I picked up the thing last summer for a decent price(cheap). I found out why it was a decent (cheap) price. It was a flimsy piece of shit. When putting it together, I had to sink a couple of extra nails in it to make sure that it would stand up and hold some movies. When it was all said and done, it was able to stand just fine.

Now let's hit Sunday, and the rack was the last thing to go into the truck. As I carry out to the truck the thing falls apart. Motherfucker!!!

I could have tried some wood glue and a couple more nails, but I was too pissed that the cheap piece of crap fell apart on me that I made a bee line to the dumpster and pitched the pieces away.

"Well," I thought "one less thing to move!"

Ok, for that?

2006-12-07T18:45:00.000-08:00

Here's a funny story.......Kinda.........

A record label sent us as a promotional stunt for a new single called "Save Me" a bright orange life preserver to the station.

I think you know what I did................

Yeah, I put that thing on and just hung out doing my thing. Got a couple of weird looks, nothing big. I'm used to weird looks even when I'm NOT doing stupid shit (this leads into something here folks).

It came time for me to go home and I was loading up my shit to walk home. Among the stuff that day were some broken down boxes for moving purposes. So I'm walking down the hall carrying about four boxes, and then I start getting weird looks from people!!

"Why the hell do you have boxes?" So I have to explain to everyone in the hallway what the damn boxes are for!

You expect to get questions wearing a life vest while in a building, in a landlocked state, but the box thing?

I'm used to people not getting me, but sometimes I just plain don't get other people.

The Playstation shooting

2006-12-04T21:53:00.000-08:00

I just got done reading the news story about the guy who got shot by cops after he had beat down another guy to steal his Playstation 3. Time for my two bits.

All my life I've been a casual gamer, which means that I would lose time in a game if I really dug it, but quite honestly if I had never played a video game in my life I wouldn't notice the difference. And for a time there I worked for a video game retailer and would see firsthand the fanatical attitudes that people would have over picking up the latest game or console. Watching the hysteria that would ensue when the latest Madden game would hit would blow my mind. Here's folks who'd think that the sun won't rise tomorrow if they couldn't play the damn game that very instant. I'd also see parents bringing in little kids who needed some new clothes something fierce dropping big bucks for games and shit. That was really sad to see such a jacked up priority.

I also remember a few years back when a Grand Theft Auto came out and a coworker of mine was crying and bitching all day cause we wasn't able to get a copy till I told him to shut the fuck up and that it was just a game.

And that's what it is, just a game. True I like 'em just as much as the next guy, but to see people going all batshit crazy for something that they can quite honestly live without? Still blows my mind.

I'm not saying that I'm completely innocent when it comes to different stuff. There's been times when I've insisted on hitting the record store when one of my favorites puts out a new CD come hell or high water, and yeah I'd be bummed if I wasn't able to get it right then. But I also know that the world won't stop turning if I don't get my hands on it, and beating or killing someone over something that trivial? Come on!

Makes you sad that some people need such a reality check over a handful of microchips and plastic.

Snow rundown

2006-12-03T23:46:00.000-08:00

Now that it's all over, let's rundown the snow that jacked us up for a couple of days from my perspective.

Thursday night: Left work about 6 p.m. when the big shit started to kick in. Realized that I had no food at my place so decided to run to the store and grab some stuff while the roads were still ok. Left the store and the parking lot was a mess, but the roads were till ok. Just fine to get home.

7 p.m.: Was settling down and sorting some laundry for washing when a friend of mine called me and asked me to come to her place for dinner and hang with the kids. By now the main roads were pretty jacked, side streets totally fucked. But a free meal from a friend of mine who is pretty cute? Can't say no to that shit! So I jumped back in the truck and hit the side streets, a threat to myself and others for a free meal and to get the shit kicked out of me "playing" with a couple little kids that are tornadoes of pre-school fury.

10 p.m.: Get home from the meal with a sore back from being crawled on. Roads, what roads? Lucky for me it was still snow and not iced down yet from traffic. I can handle driving on snow no problem, ice is a different story. Once home I get that cabin fever that pops up at the worst times............

You know what I mean. In a situation where you can't get anywhere due to things like no car or shitty weather, you immediately want to go somewhere, ANYWHERE! Granted you wouldn't be doing this if the weather wasn't shitty and your ride was just fine. So I opt to throw on a different shirt and walk down to the bar a few blocks away.

I start walking, still snowing like a motherfucker. The tracks my truck had made in the snow 'bout 20 minutes ago pulling in were covered like I had never pulled in.

Midnight: I'm drunk. PBR and whiskey warming up me up with a quickness.

1:30 a.m.: Bar closes and we walk to a friend's place down the block. The Geo of a girl we know is stuck from the snow that has fallen and what the plow has pushed up. Somehow with the right amount of yelling and questioning manhood, I make a handful of guys who are fighting push the girl's car outta the snow. Truly a John Wayne moment for me. Have a couple of vodka shots right after to warm up and decide to walk home.

Imagine Luke stumbling around in the snow at the start of "Empire" mumbling about Ben Kenobi. Now imagine Luke was stone drunk and giggling the whole time. That was me.

The next day: You know what really kills a hangover? Shoveling you car out of the snow, along with 3 other people who live in the building. Me out there, taking care of me and my neighbor, and people walking out saying, "Hey can you get mine out too?" Couldn't really tell 'em no. Be kind of a dick move to do that, and I didn't have to go to work that day so plenty of free time to shovel away.

Snow looks really nice when it's falling, and fresh, untouched snow is something kickass to see before it turns into a slushy mess, but damn if that shit ain't a pain in the ass to deal with.

Watching some movies!

2006-12-03T23:32:00.000-08:00

Had a free weekend for once, so I opted to check out a couple of flicks.

Rented "Clue" cause I hadn't seen it in a loooong time. Still funny as all get out. That one is one of those timeless flicks like "The Jerk" that even though is kind of old still remains funny. The end with Tim Curry running around the mansion like a jackass to explain the crime? Best part of the flick.

And finally got to check out "Serenity", the film that picks up where the show "Firefly" left off. Allowing myself to watch it now that I've watched all the episodes. This one I really dug, as I knew I would.

What I really dug was finally seeing the big bad Reavers in the flesh. In the show you only saw the ships that they flew in when they were chasing someone, the stories that people would tell about how sick and twisted they were, and the one episode where the normal guy went nutty and tried to make himself into a Reaver. They kinda looked like Insane Clown Posse fans so yeah, they were plenty fucking scary. And I felt my eyes tear up when a couple of the main characters got killed off. But that's what the movie versions of stuff like that are for. Hell, take a look at the "Star Trek" movies. They were either killing someone off or blowing up or fucking up an Enterprise with each flick.

While I was watching "Serenity", I was thinking about the original show. How people really seemed to dig it, critics thought it was good, but it was canned pretty quick. Same thing for "Arrested Development", but it barely managed to last 3 seasons, a little longer.

Makes you wonder why shows like that were fucked as soon as they hit the air, but that damn Charlie Sheen sitcom keeps going.

Watching "Se

And another thing...........

2006-12-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

While I was on the topic of that fucked up job, another story of, "what the fuck?"

One of the things that the company wanted us to do, no required us to do, was when someone opened a new account at the video store was to give the new member a tour of
the store, showing them what was what and the deals that we have in the store.

That's right, I was supposed to walk you through the store like it was the damn museum of natural history.

Ok, I don't know about you, but this tells me a couple of things about the setup. The store doesn't put the movies in specific sections like drama or comedy. It has a new release wall, nearly new, and 2 for 1 among the sections, everything mixed in together. This tells me that setup may be too confusing to someone looking for something, so we have to show you around the store.

Another thing? How insulting is it that you have to be shown around a friggin video store? "You aren't bright enough to see signs telling you how much things are and where things are. Here, let me show you!" Bear in mind that most people, when they come into a new store they scope out the whole place as soon as they get in there! They've already seen all the shit! They don't need some asshole to show them around a second time.

Like I said in the last post, in retrospect, I'm happy to be outta there. Time to look forward now.

Back to square one

2006-12-01T23:03:00.000-08:00

Before I kick in on this burning missive, if you get your hands on a DVD copy of "Clerks II", check out the MySpace credits at the very end (be quick with the pause button)cause my name is in there (along with a few thousand other people). That little bit made me giddy today.

Ok, on with the post.

The post graduation job that I had lined up and had even started at part time?

Yeah, that didn't work out.

It's kind of a long story. Needless to say that there was a fair amount of backstabbing done to me to make me look pretty much like the Antichrist to the higher ups in the company without my knowledge and to my shock and dismay. I thought things had been going pretty good! Shows how much I knew about what was going down.

When I found out about this, my mind was made up pretty quick to cut and run. Did I really want to move to a shithole little town and work with some people that pretty much had it out for me? Hell, what would you do? I told the higher up that was my decision to leave the company, thanked her for the opportunity, and got the fuck outta there with a quickness.

Truth be told I did like the job, but the big reason to take the gig was to have some employment as soon as I got outta school, and not scramble for a job once I passed the stage come graduation day. But in the back of my mind, there was a weird feeling I was getting, "Spider Sense" for lack of a better term telling me this was a really bad idea. It was telling me, "Don't do this, don't take the job. Anything but this." And like the thick headed jackass that I am I chose to ignore that, just happy that I had that all important post-graduation job.

So what now? I had put down a deposit on an apartment earlier this week in the shithole town. I talked to the landlord today and I'll get some of it back, but not all. I had anticipated that. The plan goes back to where I was pre-job. Couch surf at one of my parents houses till I find a job. Simple as that.

On the upside, I'm glad to have a little down time after graduation to chill a little bit. And I'm glad to not be working for a company that really had me saying, "What the fuck?" to how they operated the company. Best way to say it is that they were operating a large company with policies and rules that were more suited to running a a little mom and pop kind of place, not a company that rakes in millions a year. Really fucking weird. I don't feel like going into all of it at the moment, well a little.

The position was to be management for a video rental chain (not Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, I'm not gonna name the name). One of the rules they had on the book was that on the weekends all employees were to be dressed in business professional gear. A tie and all that good shit. That one struck me as really fucking weird. I mean let's face it. I'm working in a store where you can rent Playstation games and porno among other things. Me being all decked out while I'm letting a guy rent "Ass To Mouth #4" borders on overkill. I'm not selling high end electronics or cars or handing out bank loans. I'm renting fucking movies to people. You really think that guy whose gonna be jerking off to the movie I just rented to him is thinking, "Wow, that guy was dressed really sharp!"? No! He's thinking, "I wanna jerk off to porn."
That was just the tip of the iceberg.

No need to dwell on a fucked up store in a little shithole town that treated me like a jackass. Time to look forward and get this college thing done and over with.

Major fucking pissed

2006-11-28T00:16:00.000-08:00

Reconnected with a friend of mine I ain't heard from in about three years. Really good to hear her voice after a long spell of time.

She's went through some hard times. Got dicked over by her now asshole of an ex-husband, leaving her up shit creek with two youngsters in two. As I talked to her, I had mental images of me going to town on the motherfucking, shitstain, dickless, worthless excuse for a human with a police baton till he was beaten retarded and not able to fuck over anyone else. Can't say how sick to my stomach it makes me to see a good, decent person who just wants a good life with a person get stabbed in the back by someone that supposedly loves them. It makes me wish that I had a big red "S" on my chest, could fly, had super strength.....You know what I'm getting at, infinite power to help folks who need it. But I ain't got that.

So pissed off? Yeah I'm that. After I got off the phone with her steam was coming out my ears. Had to do something to work off the angry energy I had going on. My remedy when I need to blow off steam? Polish my boots.

It's kind of like in the books when Sherlock Holmes would play the fiddle. Clear his head, do some hardcore thinking. That's what it's like for me. When I need to think about something, get my mind off something, blow off some steam, the black Kiwi polish, buffer sponge, and brush get pulled out. Tonight I whipped off the motorcycle boots, pulled out the kit, and started to polish. My mind goes into a different place as I apply the polish evenly across the leather, rub it in as good as I can, and go to town with the brush. You can tell how intense I'm thinking by the end result. Tonight I could see myself in the tops of the boots. Fucking mirrors.

On the upside, I started to brainstorm some ideas to lend her a hand, couple may actually work (totally legal I assure you). I feel like I can't not help her. I may be an asshole most of the time, but I'm not a fucking asshole.

Plunging further into the depths of geekdom

2006-11-26T23:23:00.000-08:00

Posting these images means I'll never EVER get laid again.

I finally broke down and started getting into the now canned sci-fi/western show "Firefly". Really wondering why it took me so long to get into it seeing as how I was a big fan of "Buffy" the other show created by Joss Whedon. Rented a disc of some episodes over the Thanksgiving break, and between what I had caught on reruns? Yeah totally friggin' hooked.

I decided that I wanted to pick up the only season of shows on DVD, so I hit the local "entertainment superstore" to grab up the set. After securing a copy I looked around the rest of the store, and lo and behold what do I find..........

But a die cast metal replica of the Enterprise! Whooohooo!! I've been wanting one of those damn things for the LONGEST time! So what do I do? The only thing that I can do, I picked up both.

Walking through the store I had the urge to start screaming, "NO, I DON'T LIVE IN MY PARENTS BASEMENT AND I HAVE AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE!!" I opted not to do that. I do have some self control.

Quite a sight to see, this evening in my living room. "Firefly kicking on the TV while I'm playing with a Star Trek ship. Usually I can keep my normal level of geekness in check, but tonight it was like a sci-fi convention of one in my living room.

Times like that? Kinda glad I live alone.

Remembering Robert Altman

2006-11-21T23:54:00.000-08:00

Do me a favor folks, over this Thanksgiving break check out one of these flicks; MASH, The Player, Gosford Park, Popeye, Prarie Home Companion, Nashville, Dr, T And The Women, Short Cuts, or McCabe & Mrs. Miller and dig on one of the greats of American Cinema and KC native that we have lost Mr. Robert Altman.

I have had so much admiration for the man over the years. Making the leap from live theatre to directing for TV to making the jump to the big screen with a maverick style that set a lot of the Hollywood folks on their ears.

What really impressed me about Altman was that he was still going strong into his later years. When most people are content to chill and collect a Social Security check he was still going strong making some damn fine films that big names would lie, steal and kill to be in. I could think of no greater honor for a major actor than to say, "I was in an Altman film!"

The best story about Altman I have heard was when he was making MASH. Fox was making Patton and Tora, Tora Tora! at the same time as MASH on the Fox lot. He wanted to make the film his way, so he told everyone to keep his stuff on the down low. Elliot Gould and Donald Southerland, the two leads, wanted him canned for his directing style, and he had little to no budget to deal with.

MASH went on to be a huge success, spawning a sit-com that Allan Alda fucked up, and made Altman a major player.

What I really dug about his style was trying to take real life, and put it up on the screen. Look at the overlapping dialouge in MASH to see what I'm talking about. To me, no one has pulled of decent reality on the screen since Bob Clark with Christmas Story and Porky's

Robert Atman, you will be missed.

(cue the MASH theme here)

Relocation

2006-11-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

Have to share this real quick......

Finished filling out graduation invitations. In one of them I put a special message to a friend......Here's what it said, more or less..........

"Thanks for being a good friend over the years, and letting me finger bang a girl on your couch that one night."

To who is getting this, you know who you are............

Now to to the story.

I found out where I'm being re-located to for the post-graduation job. A friend of mine used to live there, and she offered to show me around the sleepy little town.

Wow, what a jacked-up little town.

This place has, I kid you not, a combination drug/liquor/gun store!

At first, I was annoyed that the local Walgreens wasn't 24 hours, but this place evens things out! According to my friend, this place is a local hotspot (why am I not suprised)!

You can go in this place, fill your perscription of Percoset, pick up a case of cheap beer, and buy a friggin AK-47 and a machete!

Sometimes, you gotta love Missouri.

Time for a survey!!

2006-11-14T22:49:00.000-08:00

Think we've done this one before, but it's been awhile.

The Misfits

This is where you belong in the annals of punk history!

You're pretty cool but sometimes the problem is, is that you know it. 9 times out of ten, you are the life of any party you go to, just be careful not to put your logo on everything you can. What you lack in substance, you more than make up for with style and flare. You are definately one of a kind, but don't let it go to your head... oh yeah, I probably wouldn't want to mess with you or tell you this to your face.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on wild apathy
You scored higher than 99% on pissed off
You scored higher than 99% on comically evil
You scored higher than 99% on socially aware

Link: The What classic punk band are you Test written by DrLebowski on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Some random stuff and finding a job!

2006-11-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I talked to the boys about my birthday back in August and them filling me in on details that I don't remember from a combination of beer/Jager/whiskey/getting punched in the balls. Ain't it funny how you can communicate without using words? Apparently slamming your hand very quickly means, "Let me out of the back seat of the car , I have to vomit up beer/Jager/whiskey. If I become a mute I am so set!

And I was thinking of my buddy's wedding this coming spring! The reception's gonna be held at one of the KC casinos and I'm in the wedding party. I get a mental image of me in a tux strutting around like a pimp with a date on my arm in a casino..........................

Being a total fucking pig at the buffet, screaming at and kicking slot machines, and vomiting the now famous beer/Jager/whiskey combo to the disgust of my date (who am I kidding? The escort I paid for). The mental image I have is a bizarre hybrid of Dean Martin and Lemmy from Motorhead. Yeah, you ladies looooooove that.

So, here's another topic. With a month left to go before I graduate from college, I have secured post-college employment, but with the curse of all college graduates.

A job that is not in my major whatsoever that will pay better than ANY job that I would find in my major.

Man, don't give me that look. I know what I'm doing.

The last couple of people that graduated with a degree like mine? It took them about three to six months to find a job in the career field. As much as the idea of being a slacker sounds cool as hell, I'm not spending a few months crashing in my dad's basement while I forage for a job.

(though he DOES have a pool table and a foosball table in the basement)

And this job is pretty effing good! No corporate ownership where I'm a dumb cog in a machine, and the bosses seem to care about the employees. Quite simply, a fair wage for good work, kinda like John Wayne in the movie "McClintock".

Though the job sounds pretty good, don't sweat it, I'll still look for a job that goes along with the degree.

(doubt I'll find anything that pays as good though).

Damn it, it's real now!!!

2006-11-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

Guess which one I am? Go ahead, make a bald joke I dare ya!

Today was a big friggin day. Drop by the registrars office and hot damn, the final paperwork for graduation went through! No fuss, no muss, no office person having to dig through dusty tomes for bullshit. It's all there!

I picked up the card I gotta take to the ceremony, and the card to pick up the cap and gown. Booked outta the registrars and down to the bookstore.

I hit the bookstore, handed the lady behind the counter the card, and was handed my cap, gown, and tassel. Wow.

I have to admit that when I had that stuff in hand, I started to get a little misty eyed. I threw on my sunglasses (can't see a tough guy crying) and walked to work holding that stuff. While walking, I started thinking about the long road that I've been on to get to this point. Things that I have accomplished, things that I have sacrificed. Times where I had all kinds of self doubt about what I was doing with myself down here, that I must have been half-crazed to uproot myself from my life, relocate to a sleepy college town to finish something that I knew I had to do.

I remembered the reason that I came back to school. I hate to leave something unfinished. I had hit a point in my life where the little voice in the back of my head telling me to go back to school had become a scream that I couldn't ignore. Take the risk, put my life on hold for a couple of years, get this college thing done once and for all. Use the degree or not, it has to be done, period.

I walked into work with all this going through my head, beaming with pride at what I have done, knowing that a little more than a month from now I walk across a stage and receive my degree. Just for the hell of it, I put on the cap and looked in the mirror........

GOOD GOD!!!!! I forgot just how STUPID graduation caps look! Can't I just safety pin the tassel to my black Kangol and go with that? Last order of business, look like a tool to get outta school! Nothing big.

Ah screw it, I'm gonna graduate!!!

Are you ready?

2006-11-01T07:49:00.000-08:00

It's here damnit, it's here!!!

So Halloween 2006 is one for the record books.

You ready for the annual onslaught that is Christmas?

For once I wasn't really seeing any early as hell Christmas stuff this year! I'm amazed! or maybe I wasn't looking hard enough.

Only thing I saw was a Wal Mart ad this morning while watching the news. I assume that once I get home from classes/work tonight and flip on the tube it'll be all sorts of Santa trying to cram shit down my throat.

"IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR KID A PS3 FOR CHRISTMAS THEY'LL HATE YOU FOREVER!!!" Get ready for that hitting you like a machine gun folks.

I do have to say the earliest Christmas crap in a store I saw was a few years ago in Dallas for a work trip. During some downtime between meetings and the crapper cause Dallas water was fucking me up I hit the hotel gift store to look for a couple gifts to take back. I walk in and it was like I stepped into a time machine that took me a couple of years into the future. It was decked out so's you'd think it was the end of November.

Only it was the first week of September.

I looked around for about 30 seconds and that was all I could take cause the pine smell was giving me a headache. I have never come across anything like that again, lucky me.

But now it's time to bundle up and figure out Christmas gifts for family members that you secretly can't stand. Anyone out there who was in denial about the time of year...........Sorry. Someone had to bust your bubble.

Doctor update

2006-10-30T22:36:00.000-08:00

Yep folks, it's official. Rusty has high blood pressure. The kicker was the nurse telling me that if I get blurry vision, slurred speech, or pain on the left side get my ass to the emergency room. Waitaminit! Those are symptoms of a heart attack or a stroke (or a really good night at the bar)! Is it REALLY that bad?? Well geez, thanks for scaring the shit outta me lady, the b/p went up a little more hearing that!

Did a check Friday, and then one today. I was referred to a doctor today that, cause I don't have insurance takes cash or is willing to work out a payment plan.

Hmmmm.......That's all well and good, but I don't have the cash in the first place!

So that makes the blood pressure go up a little more. Wonderful.

Next course of action; find some home remedies that are out there that will help to reduce it. Oh yeah, and watching what I eat & drink, cutting back on smoking, etc.

Any of you out there know of anything I'd be more than happy to hear about it.

Bad TV habit

2006-10-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

So it's the end of October, so my ass is usually planted on the couch watching horror movies. But as of late my ass has been hooked on a handfull of shows. Most serialized ones, but a few comedies are making the list. Let's take a look, shall we?

LOST: I'm still hooked on this one, but they better start wrapping some shit up this season, or I'm dropping that bad boy. But I gotta say that Evageline Lilly is one of the hottest girls on TV. Speaking of cuties on the tube.........

MY NAME IS EARL: This comedy still has me hooked. Of course it has the cutie Jamie Pressley as a dumb redneck, but I'm a big Jason Lee fan, and it's well written.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: This show, IMHO, gets better with each season! Did you catch tonight's episode with the tibunal passing judgement? This is one of those shows that is a perfect mix of entertainment, sci-fi action, and social commentary on some of the stuff we're going through today.

JERICHO: This one has caught me......for now. It's about a town in the middle of Kansas caught in the midst of what they think is WWIII, and the secrets that people have in this town that are gonna make for a shitstorm. This is the first season, and so far it's going pretty good. Keeping fingers crossed on this one.

HEROES: This is the new biggie drama from NBC. All sorts of different people around the world find out that they have super powers like flight and able to heal from any wound, which is supposed to culminate in a huge fight in the middle of New York. This one is looking REALLY good so far.

And last but not least.............

TCM UNDERGROUND: Over on Turner Classics, late Friday nights Rob Zombie is hosting some of the best cult flicks that you're gonna find. Night Of The Living Dead, Freaks, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill! to name a few. It's reminds me of the old school "Creature Features" that the UHF channels used to run back in the day, and Rob Zombie is my favorite metal guy with his catchy hooks and use of old horror stuff in his music. Not to mention his movie "Devil's Rejects" kicks ass on many levels.

There you go folks. Enjoy! And you may want to rent previous seasons of Lost and BSG just so you know what exactly is going down. It's worth the rental price I assure you.

Funny stuff

2006-10-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

Will report more later, but here's some funny web pics for the weekend, enjoy!

Another sign of age or Power Rangers and not the Hulk?!?

2006-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

If you know who this is, then keep a walker handy.

I dropped by the local PBS station today to say hi to a friend of mine, and while there I check out a true gem that was being shown.

PBS was running the episode of Mr. Rogers where he and Mr. McFeely visit the set of "The Incredible Hulk"! Awwww sweet!!! Talk about a flood of memories..........

Back in the day when I was just a mini sociopath Friday night was the hard-core TV night with my family. It was tuned to CBS and stayed till bedtime. Friday night was Dukes Of Hazzard, The Hulk, and Dallas. My 5-6 year old ass was bolted to the floor for two solid hours of rednecks and green monsters, and then a full hour of me flexing and growling around the house pissing off my folks while they tried to watch Dallas till I was screamed at to get my ass to bed. Oh damn, talk about some good times.

My response to Mr. Rogers was me jumping up and down screaming "Holy shit, the Hulk!!"

All my friend could say was, "The what?"

I was floored for a second. Not recognizing a pop culture icon like Lou Ferrigno in green body paint? Absurd! Then it hit me that my friend is 10 years younger than me. Ok, I'll accept that.

I then tried to explain the wonder and glory that was the Hulk. Bill Bixby sporting the green contacts, Lou's flexing and roaring, and the classic, I mean CLASSIC two part episode where the Hulk fought the evil Hulk (played by Dick Durock, who went on to play Swamp Thing in both the movies. My extent of useless trivia is infinite!!!!).

I then thought back to a couple of weeks ago when the same friend was able to name off all the Power Rangers' names, colors, and special robot they rode or whatever. Ok, I don't know THAT (praise God!!!), and then I started to realize the age gap between me and my friend.

Kind of a letdown when this kind of stuff just comes up and slaps you in the face.

You gotta be kidding!! Then again, maybe not........

2006-10-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe if I didn't feel like this every day........

Hit the doctor today for some allergy stuff cause my ears and head were feeling hella stuffed up.

The nurse took me back for the basics. Take the weight......Yeah, that's a good time. Take the blood pressure......Hmmmmm.......Nurse gets a funny look.

"That's a little high." Was what she said.

And damned if I couldn't feel it rise when she said that. For pity's sake, me?!? I'm not THAT old yet! I started going through all the basic shit right then.......

Let's see........I smoke, drink but starting to cut back cause the bar tab to get me buzz nowadays starts to reach the national debt. I've cut back on soda, but still drink green tea that has caffiene in it, gotta be a small improvement there. And my eating habits are slowly starting to get better, but am known to gorge every now and then when the mood hits me. But I've been under some stress what with the semester and all (see previous post).

The doctor hooks me up with some nasal spray and repeats what the nurse said, "That's not a great number" (no shit). She has the nurse check it again on the big machine and it's still the same. I'm told to make an appointment for Friday for another check of the BP, and to avoid smoking or drinking soda or whatnot before hand (what about some whiskey, please?).

Not stressing too bad right now. But that is a kick in the ass at the moment. Already a little stressed, and now this pops up?

Well, we'll just wait for Friday to come along and I'll report back. But for now Mork signing off, Nano, Nano.

Weighing in on the Limbaugh/Fox deal

2006-10-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

So earlier this week ole Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of "faking" his Parkinsons Disease to gain sympathy over stem cell research and such.

You know what? I think Rush is right.

Our buddy Mikey doesn't have Parkinsons! He's just a hard core drunk with the shakes! He's using Parkinsons as a cover! That guy just loves his vodka, that's all!

As a matter of fact I think people in wheelchairs are faking it so hard core! They're just too lazy to walk, want better parking spots when they go to the mall, and sympathy or free lap dances from strippers! Hey Larry Flynt, you ain't fooling anybody! It's just easier to get girls to pose naked when a guy in a wheelchair asks you to!

Boy, I'd love to see your faces right now......................

You should know me well enough that I don't believe anything I said up there. BUT I got you talking, I got you shocked, I got you pissed.

And that's what Limbaugh and his jackass types do best. They say a bunch of loaded statements that'll get people going, get their names in the news, and get people to pay attention to them.

It's shit said for shock value, nothing more, nothing less. Hell, how do you think Howard Sten got so friggin big? Do things that are gonna shock people so people will pay attention to you, regardless of what you think of them. You love 'em or hate 'em you listen to hear the next loaded thing that will be said or done.

I just wanted to say that.

Worn the hell down

2006-10-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Finally a few moments to spend on the blog.

Last week, busy as all get out. This week, not much better. Stuff just jumps outta nowhere all over me.

It still kills me, the assumption that college students are a slacker lot. I've worked in the "real world" while I took a few years break from the college world, and thinking through all the jobs I worked during that time, EVEN when I was working 2-3 jobs at a time, that this is the hardest I've ever worked.

You spend your day in class, and then right after that I hit the job (lucky for me right on campus). Work for a few hours and get home. BUT when I get home, I still have a hella stack of homework or reading to take care of. Slack on any of those things and then you're so behind in a class you may as well take an 'F'. And that's not gonna happen.

Add on top of that getting things ready for graduation in December. Getting everything lined up dotting all the i's and crossing the T's, it's a major pain in the ass. Not to mention that I've had issues with getting a class to count for graduation as a gen-ed course (long story there, let's just say that some jackass forgot to double stamp a piece of paper, thus breaking down the lines of communication between 3 different offices on campus. Hmmmm.......Didn't mean to go that long).

ADD ON TOP OF THAT, the stress that people lay down on you just by simply asking, "So whadda gonna do when you get outta school?" I know it's a harmless question on their part, but it sends my brain into a fit. Oh shit, I still gotta look for a FRIKKIN JOB! THAT'S THE REASON I'M HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! DAMNIT!!!

Yeah, add all those things together, plus remembering most of the time to shower, clean my place, and the other little shit like eating................That's a little bit on me plate. Lucky me there's not a spouse or kids to throw in this mix.

You lucky fools who complain about how hard your 9-5 job is when all you have to do is go home at the end of the day, crack open a beer and chill on the couch. Walk a little bit on my side of the fence. You'll never bitch about how hard you have it at work again.

A twisted thought............

2006-10-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

That popped into my head today outta nowhere.

Stevie Wonder puts his hands over his ears so he can hear no one, and starts running around the room screaming, "Lookit me, I'm Helen Keller!"

Yeah, that's really fucked up.

I know you, do you know me?

2006-10-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

Isn't odd and a little cool at the same time how you can know a lot about a person just from unintentional observation? Kind of like watching a prime time drama.

Here's the best example. At the gas station where I make a daily stop for smokes and a bottle of green tea just from seeing the interaction of the employees behind the counter, what they say, who they're talking about, etc, etc, I've been witness to who's dating who, who got married to who, who is pissed off at so and so , and all I've really said to any of those folks is, "and a pack of Camel Lights to go with that please, thanks."

This weekend I ran into one of the guys that used to work there while at a party and we shot the shit for awhile. I asked him about the stuff I saw behind the counter at the station and he confirmed what I had seen , and dropped a few nuggets on me that filled in some blanks. To top it off he still knew my name and what I would usually pick up. Talk about a two lane street there, huh?

The whole thing struck me as really trippy while I was still buzzing from a Crown and water. Catching all this info about people's lives in little nuggets one day at a time.

More good therapy

2006-10-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

Another one of "those" days. Getting worked down to the bone during the day whilst family issues have the phone ringing off the hook on my hip. Get some work done, and then drag your beat down ass home.

But damnit, they haven't flipped the master switch yet to turn on the heat for the apartment building, and it's COLD! No choice but to hide under the covers for the rest of the night.

Flip on the TV, and things go from bad to good in a snap. "Animal Crackers" is on TCM! Hot damn! Nothing like a Marx Brothers movie to flip the mood.

Now if they would only turn on the damn heat............

Minor Update

2006-10-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

I hacked off the beard.........

And I still scare small children.

Just can't win. Oh well, that thing was scratchy to the point of insanity anyways. And when I would wear my glasses I would look like a shorter version of my boss. Weird, huh?

Latest Guilty Pleasure: Disturbed's cover of the Genesis song Land Of Confusion. I happened on it on the radio (first minute of it anyways cause I pulled up to my place), and now I have to listen to the song every couple of days. Though I do gotta admit outta all that crappy nu-metal that happened, Korn, Limp Bizkit, etc, that Distrubed is the one out of that lump that I really don't mind.

Not much else to say right now.

Scary without trying

2006-10-06T12:45:00.001-07:00

At least I didn't look like this!

Speaking of "maintaining"......................

I mentioned earlier this week that I had let my beard grow out. Mostly cause of lack of time and me saying, "Hell with it, let it grow out again." Hadn't had one in a couple of years and I wanted to see it again.

Two days ago my coworker had his 2 year old daughter at work. Adorable in every way, just a cute-as-a-button kid. I went to say hi to her and she immediately ran behind her daddy, peeking at me from around he legs, looking scared as hell.

"It's cause you have a beard. Guys with beards scare her."

All I could say back was, "You kid must hate Kenny Rogers then.", but I was a little heartbroken. My appearance scare little kids?

When I got home that night the first thing I did was whip out the razor and started hacking away at my face. Moments later, I was back to having a clean shaven baby face. Not even my usual goatee going on. Being sacry looking to adults? I'm used to that. But scaring some poor little kid just by kicking a Grizzly Adams face? Then you gotta change it up.

Blunt honesty

2006-10-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

In the past, I've been the king of bad comments that make people stop in their tracks and look at me like I'm growing an extra head. But sometimes I hear someone else do it it makes me glad I'm not the only person who does it.

For instance earlier this week I got outta work late, and me and some folks went to the local all night diner. We're sitting around chatting waiting for food, and I'm enjoying a damn fine cup of green tea. The girl sitting across from me gets a call, talks for a moment, gets off the phone and decides to announce, "That was a booty call, but I don't think I'm gonna take him up on it?"

The table looks at her with puzzled faces. Turn down a booty call? Who the hell does that? She then announces, "Well it's been awhile so I'm not 'maintained' down there.", aka she hasn't "trimmed the hedge".

The table is silent for two seconds then laughter erupts from everyone at the table. Hot damn! Too much information is a funny thing sometimes. But hey, you gotta give the girl props about caring about her appearance, in and out of her clothes.

Feeling dumb as a stump

2006-10-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I had to take a "standarized test". All I had to do was take it, no passing with a certain score, just required that I take it. Already a waste of an afternoon when stuff was piling up left and right.

These kind of test can kiss my ass on a number of different levels. Have you seen the questions that they ask on those freakin things? I mean come on! How often does the average person in their normal day, "solve for X"?

Bear in mind that the last kind of general education class that I had was eons ago, but I'm not a complete moron. Looking at most of these questions I was was thinking, "What the fuck? Ask me normal questions that REALLY apply to a standard of real life!"

Like this, here's some math! You have this amount of money, and you need to put gas in your car to get to work, but gas costs a shitload. How much gas can you put in your ride to get to work and back and still have enough green in your pocket to buy some lunch and a pack of smokes? That's a good question!

Here's another! You're getting cable installed at your place, and the cable guy will be there sometime between 8 and 5. How much of your day is gonna be wasted waiting on his ass?

And another "standard" question that should be on these tests, a lady you have the hots for says "she really likes you as a friend". What are the chances of your getting in her pants?

See? Now if you put questions like these on those tests, questions that apply to the shitty existence that we all have, national test scores would be so much higher, and we wouldn't have the media screaming at us that national test scores are constantly falling and that all Americans are about as bright as a dead roach.

Until that time when these tests become a true "standard" I request, that for every question on the current test, you add another answer to all questions..........

And that is..........Who the hell cares?

Best therapy

2006-10-06T01:34:00.000-07:00

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!!!!!!

Take a page from the book of Rusty. You had a shitty day. Everything that could have gone wrong did. You try and get back up, but you keep getting kicked back down. The weight of the world pushes you into the dirt.

You get outta that bad scene, dust your ass off, and decide to blow off some steam, and kick the real world in the junk a coupla times.

You hit your favorite bar. You give respect knucks to your boys. You down a few well mixed cocktails with a PBR chaser. You jump on the stage for karaoke and sing a Ramones song that gets the fists of all the bar patrons up in the air with them screaming, "HEY HO, LET'S GO!!!". You sweep the ladies of the bar off their feet like you're the Fonz times 10, making them want more, and by that all is holy you deliver.

A bad day turns into an awesome day in the blink of an eye.

The best therapy you can get for the price of a bar tab.

Dag nab it!!

2006-10-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

I restart the damn blog and this week I'm busy as hell with all sorts of odds and ends!

Just my freaking luck!

I'll find time to throw down on you in a day or two. Don't worry.

Insomnia

2006-10-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

Had a bout of insomnia last night. I can count on having one at least once a month. Last night filled the quota for October hopefully.

Same old song and dance. I feel tired and lay down. 'Bout 30 minutes later I'm laying in bed wide awake cursing a storm cause I know the next day is gonna suck.

Last night I flipped on the bedroom TV to veg on something that would lull me to sleep. I landed on the re-make of "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" on TCM with Donald Sutherland. Yeah, that really fucking helped.

The last scene when you realize that Sutherland is a pod person and he bugs out his creepy ass eyes and lets out that freaky alien howl was creepy enough that when I would close my eyes when I was finally sleepy I would see that image in my mind.

Fuck me running.

Hence today sucked something fierce.

Return Of The New And Improved

2006-10-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

Guess who's back you silly bastards................

I know you missed me, you did! No reason to be shy there baby, now c'mere and gimme a big welcome back kiss.

Oh yeah baby, that's the good stuff!

After some time of reflection, soul searching, growing a beard, working up an obscene tolerance to booze (can kill a 12 of PBR and not even flinch), smacking around a few morons. I decided that it's time to bring this silly little fucking blog back.

In reality, it's just a stupid blog where my opinion is no better or worse than any other jackoff out there who is doing the same thing. I don't wanna change the world with this thing, nor do I think it would. I'm just gonna be me, shoot off my fucking mouth about things that I have no clue about, and we can all laugh about the the stupid shit I say and do as I trip through life like Dick Van Dyke over so may ottomans.

Hold onto your asses, and your nuts cause I'll probably take a cheap shot and nut tap you while you ain't looking cause I'm just that much of an asshole!

Cheers!